UD‘s seen her share of bizarre defenses of big-time university sports, but this is her first encounter with the pancreatectomy argument.
Of course, you can remove the pancreas, and though the removal creates problems of its own, the procedure – partial or total – is sometimes indicated.
The pancreas argument – the university is a body with vital organs, and you can’t take out vital organs – comes from Steve Reznick, a University of North Carolina psychology professor and major Tar Heels fan.
Another faculty sports rep said – at a meeting with furious UNC faculty – something just as strange:
“There is a collegiate decor created by athletics that bind us all together in a way that doesn’t happen otherwise.”
Drink that one up, me hearties! A … decor … a decor that binds… A pancreas… a pancreas that sustains the life-giving operations of our … decor…
Rather than drawing their inspiration from interior design or internal organs, UD thinks faculty sports zealots would be more persuasive (the professors at the meeting with them left it even more unhappy) if they drew upon religious faith. UD recommends they start with this book:
Game Day and God: Football, Faith, and Politics in the American South
There are beautiful liturgical paragraphs here that may be easily committed to memory when you are challenged to defend the foundational Being of basketball. The professors around you will certainly scoff at your enthusiasm; but this response will allow you to rebuke them as satanic and flounce out of the room.
November 5th, 2011 at 12:03PM
Maybe he meant Pancrator.