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Mass rallies on the campus of Duke University…

… are happening right now.

There’s apparently been a spontaneous outburst of student rage over basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski’s compensation.

At seven million dollars a year, Krzyzewski comes in a full million dollars short of Louisville coach Rick Pitino, and Dukies are not happy about it.

Duke’s president has joined the protesters, pledging in an address to them to set aside $500,000 of his own compensation next year for Krzyzewski. “I challenge my fellow administrators, our trustees, and, yes, our faculty and students, to make their own sacrifices on behalf of Coach K. If we’re going to compete with Louisville, it can’t be done by one person alone. Everyone can give something.”

As he spoke, a hastily composed cheer went up:

ONE K FOR COACH K! TWO K FOR COACH K!! HEY HEY HEY HEY THREE K FOR COACH K!!!

Margaret Soltan, May 16, 2012 8:50AM
Posted in: sport

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6 Responses to “Mass rallies on the campus of Duke University…”

  1. Eric the Read Says:

    What’s most interesting to me is that the president of Duke has half a million dollars in salary that he won’t miss. I don’t care who you are, half a million is a lot of money to give up. What’s he getting in return?

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    The satisfaction of knowing he’s doing real good for the world.

  3. adam Says:

    On a first read through I figured this is a spoof post, UD.

  4. Polish Peter Says:

    “I challenge my fellow administrators, our trustees, and, yes, our faculty and students, to make their own sacrifices on behalf of Coach K. If we’re going to compete with Louisville, it can’t be done by one person alone. Everyone can give something.” This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week, and it’s only Wednesday. What are they going to do, pass the hat?

  5. UD Says:

    I guess I should make it clear that adam’s correct: Inspired by the story about the coach’s compensation, I made the rest of it up.

  6. Polish Peter Says:

    OK, I fell for it. But it really did seem plausible. Good job!

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