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It’s one thing for a university football coach to scream at an opposing coach …

… to whom he has just lost that he’s a fucker – and to do it on Military Appreciation Day, when the winning coach’s team is the Air Force Academy. It’s one thing for the video someone shot of the coach losing it to go viral and embarrass the whole university.

It’s quite another for the head of the university’s booster club to reveal a shocking overuse of quotation marks in his email complaining to the University of Wyoming athletics director about all of this.

At this time — the UW Foundation is feeling ‘foolish’ in funding an ‘f-bomb screaming loser’. Sorry to be harsh. But, I am starting to get hammered myself with the UW Foundation Board. I take my responsibility very seriously in helping the UW Foundation Board make “good decisions.” Right now ‘do not’ feel that I have guided a ‘good decision’.

… From the day of the Foundation investment in Dave — the Pokes have gone 1-7???. There is the ‘layman’s view’ that the Pokes were not competitive in the bowl — as Dave seemed to spend more time that weekend focused on his contract than preparing for the Bowl game. And, now 1-6 this season. And, now the YouTube ‘f-bomb’ fest by Coach Dave????

… Guide me … I need to know what to say when my Board members call me and question ‘the investment’ in Dave????? I know we said the ‘obligation’ from the Foundation would likely be only 2 years as Coach Dave ‘vaulted his career’ to a BCS school. But, we know the commitment could be 5-years??!!! And, it is doubtful that any BCS schools are lining up to recruit Coach Dave. At the rate Dave is going — would be nice to know that Coach Dave is ‘committed’ to win with the Cowboys — and, committed to accomplishing something in Wyoming.

Pelted with this quote-hail, Scathing Online Schoolmarm can only avert her face and ask WHY? WHY?

“WHY?”

I mean, what does the act of putting words and phrases in quotation marks do? It either

1. makes it appear that you are quoting someone else’s words; or

2. makes it appear that you are signalling irony or skepticism or sarcasm.

Look over the email and note the quoted words. Are they meant ironically? Noooooo. “Au contraire.” He has “put in quotation marks” precisely those words which are most “heartfelt.”

“”””””””””””””WHY?””””””””””””””””

Margaret Soltan, November 5, 2012 12:03AM
Posted in: Scathing Online Schoolmarm

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10 Responses to “It’s one thing for a university football coach to scream at an opposing coach …”

  1. David Says:

    Are you being “ironic” by linking he’s a fucker to a slideshow on the 10 best places for the wealthiest retirees? If so, you get double points!

    http://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/slideshows/10-best-places-for-the-wealthiest-retirees/6

  2. Eric the Read Says:

    Sure, there are lots of quotes, but don’t overlook his other crimes against punctuation. As Terry Pratchett wrote, “Multiple exclamation marks…are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”

  3. Margaret Soltan Says:

    David: “Whoops.” My mistake. Correction pending…

  4. Jeremy Bangs Says:

    The question isn’t: “”””””””””””””WHY?””””””””””””””””
    It’s: “”””””””””””””WHY??????!!!!!””””””””””””””””

  5. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Jeremy: You are correct.

  6. david foster Says:

    Definitely NSFW, but pretty funny…the R-rated guide to punctation:

    http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/nota_bene/rrated_internet_writing_l.php

    …which (oddly enough) has nothing to say about quotation marks.

  7. Timothy Burke Says:

    Actually this is a great illustration of why folks make bad use of quotation marks. He’s clearly meaning to emphasize the phrases and words in quotes as if they were italicized–I think there is a folk tradition of using quotes for that purpose because it seems as if that should make the emphasis seem spoken. It’s horrible to read, but this is an interesting window into the unconscious thinking behind the practice.

  8. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Tim: I didn’t know about the tendency to use quotation marks for emphasis – but now that you mention it, I think you must be right. I’m thinking especially of shop signs that put significant words — “Fresh” Vegetables — in quotation marks. Maybe a lot of people DO read the quoted word as emphasized. For me, it’s just funny, because it says “Some people think the vegetables are fresh, but you and I – winkwink – know they’re rotten.”

  9. Polish Peter Says:

    Surely readers are aware of the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks: http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
    but in case not, it’s always worth a visit.

  10. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Polish Peter: I love that blog, and I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to it a couple of times. But thanks for the reminder.

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