There’s an intriguing point/counterpoint in these two Eastern Echo articles dealing with the cosmic nullity that is the Eastern Michigan University football program. As the first student points out, when there’s no there there there’s every reason to stop pretending there’s a there. There.

Year in and year out, money continues to be wasted on a program in which virtually no one shows up to watch. … [There] are better things to do with the $2.47 million in the football budget instead of wasting it away with a sub-par product…

The writer calls for the university to shut down the program.

The other student argues that…

He doesn’t really argue. Even on the level of content, it’s hard to follow what he’s saying, since he doesn’t know what a semi-colon is. But his main point seems to be that the school has produced some NFL players.

Plus, some really impressive things are happening in the program. For instance, they just fired their crazed homophobic coach – and breaking his contract will only set the school back a few hundred thou. Oh, and

I would argue that wins and fans go hand-in-hand. If you want fans in the seats, you have to put some wins on the board.

Well, Coach English was trying to do that by calling everyone a faggot! What do you want?

Sure, some commenters point out that putting wins on the board actually doesn’t – at EMU – put fans in the seats. Like, I mean, really; (note semi-colon) no one at your school gives a shit about football…

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7 Responses to “‘Take Saturday’s game against Western Michigan University where 2,177 fans attended out of 30,200 possible seats.’”

  1. MattF Says:

    I wouldn’t have guessed that there were so many other things to do in Ypsilanti. Live and learn.

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    MattF: LOL.

  3. adam Says:

    On the other hand, Ypsilanti is right next door to Ann Arbor.

  4. GTWMA Says:

    Dear Coach:

    I cannot help but notice that you have awarded 20-25 scholarships every year since 1995. Yet, only 1-2 of these students each year has subsequently completed your program and gone on to play in the NFL. Since fewer than 10% of your players have succeeded, I’ve decided to give your funding to an academic department with a proven track record of student success.

  5. Stephen Karlson Says:

    Performance based budgeting, I like the approach.Since on occasion, a player from a Division II (or whatever it’s called now) or lower football program plays on Sundays, however, any metric either for defending the football program, or for funding it, based on NFL signings, is at best a noisy signal of the program’s accomplishments.

  6. Margaret Soltan Says:

    GTWMA: That’s exactly how it should go.

  7. charlie Says:

    Keep in mind that EMU was caught up in the New York Attorney General’s university financial aide investigation. The EMU admins received kickbacks from Sallie Mae, in order for Sallie Mae to become the university’s “preferred lender,” while also operating a call center for students needing financial aide information. Guess what advice Sallie Mae was giving.

    The student body was getting it coming and going, from having to pay massive debt, to having that debt fund a losing football team.

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