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The University of Hawaii Goes Off the Rails.

“Hawaii athletics is important to the university but it is essentially important to the Hawaii community itself,” Bley-Vroman said. “The university doesn’t itself have a solution. I think that’s important to make that clear. Athletics really is a state-level problem. Not problem, opportunity. It’s a cool thing. We like it.”

Chancellor Robert Bley-Vroman babbles in front of a legislative committee, whatever capacity for rational speech he once had totally broken down by the bedlam of his university sports program. Essentially reduced to a few crazed administrators staging pretend Stevie Wonder concerts in a desperate bid to get someone to sit in their stadium, University of Hawaii athletics has lost all dignity. It has lost all capacity to do that thing most other fucked up athletic programs do: lie.

Most other programs can still keep going the lies about ticket sales, sources of revenue, players’ academic progress, etc., etc. But Hawaii can’t even do that. Hawaii’s a madman muttering to the world about its cool games, so important to Hawaii that no one attends them…

I mean, okay, right, sure, no one attends them! That’s why we’re always millions and millions in deficit and why it’s not a cool thing but a problem!

But not OUR problem. Oh no. You did it. The state did it. You have to solve it because we can’t because we don’t have any money and you have money and you have to give us the money. And we promise if you do that you’ll see an immediate turnaround and all the people who don’t give a damn about our stupid corrupt program will pour onto the field!

Sweating in his flower shirt, the university chancellor breaks down in front of the Higher Education Committee. It has come to this.

Margaret Soltan, December 19, 2014 5:55AM
Posted in: sport

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3 Responses to “The University of Hawaii Goes Off the Rails.”

  1. Mr Punch Says:
    December 19th, 2014 at 9:32AM

    If I recall correctly, at one point about 10% of the population of Hawaii was enrolled at the university; now it’s a quarter of that. The university is apparently struggling for local mindshare.

  2. John Says:
    December 20th, 2014 at 5:22AM

    where’s the evidence of the importance? its not in the attendance numbers.

  3. Margaret Soltan Says:
    December 20th, 2014 at 6:56AM

    John: It’s nowhere.

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