Could it be that one of America’s sleaziest coaches, at one of America’s sleaziest schools, will have to leave? Lots of people are saying that the University of Louisville‘s basketball program has tipped over into Too Sordid Even for Division I and will have to sacrifice its coach, Rick Pitino.
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Louisville’s problem is not that it turns its dorms into whorehouses. Big deal. Recruiting 101. Athletics is the university’s front porch. And back room.
“You’re not gonna get players by doing those types of things,” [said Pitino] … what was behind this? What was the reason? An educated person can’t think you’re gonna get a recruit with a stripper coming in. This is University of Louisville, you don’t need any artificial help.” Funny, because you know what the rest of the world assumes? That free, naked, older women in the dorms would be exactly the type of thing that may interest 17 and 18-year-old boys. Why would Pitino staffer Andre McGee set up hooker parties with recruits? To bore them?
No, Louisville’s problem is that the university’s tell-all madam turns out to be a pleasant, articulate, believable person. UL’s last hope was that this woman would be a raving slut rather than a research and publishing genius who could teach UL’s tenure track cohort a trick or two. That strutting pious fraud Pitino will have to go.
The great Sarah Vaughan ushers him out.
Perdido, we look for our coach he’s perdido
We misplaced our coach Rick Pitino
While chancing a dance fiesta.
Bolero, we watched as they danced the Bolero.
They said, taking off their sombreros,
“Let’s meet for a sweet fiesta.”
High was the sun when we first came close,
Low was the moon when we said adios.
Perdido, since then has my coach been perdido
I know he must go to Mark Emmert for a little shmooze.
Pitino ooh ooh ooh ooh Pitino
The day the fiesta started…
Perdido ooh ooh ooh ooh perdido
That’s when my coach departed…
He’s perdido!
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UD thanks John.
October 21st, 2015 at 12:25PM
A brief time in the wilderness, a sweet tv gig on pre-game shows to remind the world of his charisma, and the bidding war for his services will begin. Ok, maybe he has to take a mid-major to March Madness. But then it’s back to the Big Time. Or the NBA. Hell, if he wanted out of Louisville this is an only modestly embarrassing playbook to follow.
And that’s how you do cynicism.
dcat
October 21st, 2015 at 12:43PM
Derek: The key to your very plausible scenario is the absolute desperation of other schools – they’ve worked through a ton of coaches, they’re losing all their games, nobody attends… All the scuzzy coaches get jobs again.