[T]here is nothing funny about playing [University of Massachusetts] home games in sprawling but nearly vacant Gillette Stadium …
Au contraire, the situation at U Mass, with its new law school (LOLOLOLOL) and way gussied up football program and ongoing tradition of student rioting, etc., etc., is hilarious.
Those who criticized the [football program’s] upgrade were ridiculed in 2011 as small-minded, anti-football or lacking in school spirit. Nearly five years later, everything they warned about has come true: low attendance, a nomadic existence that includes games at a cavernous stadium too distant for students to attend, spiraling costs…
A university composed of nomads wandering to cavernous stadiums. That’s funny.
As another uncertain offseason begins … the questions about the expanded, much more expensive UMass football program continue to be less about where they should play FBS football, but why.
Why? Let me help you with that one. I quote an earlier University Diaries post:
U Mass Amherst has arguably the most violent student body in America. The post-game riots there are terrifying. But if you take away that important emotional outlet for the large numbers of drunken bullies who go to school there, who knows what they’ll do instead?
You wouldn’t want the mobs going after the (shudder) professors, would you? Who’d teach the courses?
December 4th, 2015 at 9:42AM
maybe they could remote telecast lectures in on a screen in the stadium
December 4th, 2015 at 11:14AM
dmf: gotta do something with the place
December 4th, 2015 at 1:26PM
indeed, maybe they will turn the whole thing into a SWAT training site.
December 4th, 2015 at 4:47PM
I say fill it with water, put a few slides and diving boards, and turn it into UMass’s version of an LSU Lazy River….
December 4th, 2015 at 7:55PM
charlie, i was thinking about the water option but imagining mock sea battles (navalia proelia? hey who says a liberal arts ed. is worthless) like the arenas of old.
December 4th, 2015 at 8:12PM
dmf, now that’s marketing! Since you’ve brought up pagan amusements, what about battles to the death between tenured profs vs, admins!? Unfortunately, admins are the ones in charge, they’ll probably pit the liberal arts adjuncts vs STEM adjuncts, to see who get’s their contracts renewed. Don’t think those bastards haven’t at least entertained the idea…
December 6th, 2015 at 9:11AM
heh, well in some sense admins have already put that plan into play, Über-fication Alles, maybe a realitytv mix of the Office and Survivor.