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At the very nexus of all things that make Florida State University a great intellectual institution…

… we find one of their specialized coaches – he’s solely about conditioning and strengthening the lads – paid the sixth highest such coaching salary in the country. With contract extensions and all, he’s well on his way to half a million dollars a year. (His most recent salary is a “126.25 percent increase from his initial [2010] $160,000 salary with the Seminoles.”)

Now I want you to put aside petty distractions about FSU that are all in the past: the rapes, the thefts, punching women in bars, animal abuse, the conniving local police force, blahblahblah… I want you to think about this hagiographic Showtime special on this great team, this great school, this great community.

Watch the trailer – it features this guy, this strength and conditioning coach. One of FSU’s heroes.

***********************

So – the nexus? The very crux of what makes a great academic institution?

Well, you’ve got the coach, and you’ve got the Showtime special. Now you need that ineffable combination of elements that makes for scholarly excellence. Let us put these elements together.

Let’s have this coach get stinking drunk in his campus office with the Showtime crew and then pile into his car and crash into a stop sign.

AND let’s let this class operation give him a slap on the wrists and insinuate in its public statement that it was all the evil Showtime crew’s fault for forcing whiskey into the hands of this great good and innocent man.

Now you’ve got it. The life of the mind, Florida State University.

Margaret Soltan, September 4, 2016 9:50AM
Posted in: sport

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2 Responses to “At the very nexus of all things that make Florida State University a great intellectual institution…”

  1. John Says:

    Thrasher quote from the article is half right:

    “We have an outstanding athletics program, and fans must know it operates with class and reflects the university’s values”

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    John: Yes – good ol’ Thrasher. I thought of quoting that “class” remark in the post, but it was getting too long. Too much good material.

    And yes – he’s quite right that the program reflects FSU’s values.

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