If you’re a much older suitor, it’s not a good idea to use your proximity to death as a come-on.

According to [a UCLA sexual misconduct] investigation, [Professor Eric] Gans contended his advances were welcome, but [Pamela] Thomason said the evidence shows the graduate student repeatedly tried to get Gans to cease unwelcome attention.

“The evidence reflects that Gans exerted psychological pressure on (the student) to submit, including references to his own mortality and to how she changed his life,” Thomason said in the report.

I’m going to be dead in a few months anyway so why not fuck me seems to UD one of the less auspicious approaches.

*******************

Ever wonder exactly what public relations consultants do?

They keep people from giving interviews and saying things like this.

Gans alleges that the whole situation was a setup by the student’s adviser and the department chair — “who are both women, by the way,” he said — believing that some of his colleagues were jealous of the “extremely attractive, sexy girl” he had as a student and of his academic prowess.

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7 Responses to “UD’s Dating Tips”

  1. Seelye martin Says:

    A new sexual position: one foot in the grave

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Seelye: Laugh Out Loud!

  3. Dr_Doctorstein Says:

    Or the St. James Infirmary position, stretched out on a long white table?

  4. Margaret Soltan Says:

    La petite mort.

  5. Greg Says:

    His heart barely beats for her or, a fib* (yet true), it beats pell-mell.

    *Or your favorite arrhythmia here.

  6. Margaret Soltan Says:

    I got arrhythmia
    I got music
    I got my man
    Who could ask for anything more?

  7. Greg Says:

    One also might try to do something with the greatful dead which comes to us out of the book of revelations (a sadly prescient page turner) via Jerry, Phil and all those “playing in the band.”

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