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Aw Shit, We’re Gettin’ All the Valedictories Now…

… All the sad sad pieces in the local rags ’bout how the University of Louisville was lookin’ so good and then hell all hell broke loose and now look at the mess we’re in… Boo hoo! Everybody’s cryin’ for UL, for Louisville, for the state of Kentucky… Everybody’s favorite current phrase: Fall from grace

What state of grace? The school went from being a lowly commuter campus to a jockshop. All under the larcenous eye of the ex-president — a guy the school is likely to sue in order to see if it can recover some of the funds he, er, took.

No, UD doesn’t think valedictories are quite the right tone … For a university that… Well, let’s tell everyone what you did, UL.

**********************

Short version: YOU WERE A VERY VERY BAD BOY AND THEN YOU GOT CAUGHT.

Longer version: You had a very long run as a bad boy and you made a lot of money. Your bad boy president and his cronies made a lot of money. Your bad boy basketball coach and his staff and some of his players made a lot of money. You won a lot of games by bribing the best high school players to commit to UL. You ran a house of prostitution inside one of your dorms and provided the prostitutes to sixteen year old recruits and their fathers. Bad, bad, bad. Naughty, naughty, naughty.

Still, for a long time you didn’t get caught, and your professors were silent and your trustees were silent and your students whooped at the games and your coach collected his annual seven million dollars and everything was great. And then you got caught.

That is, like bad boys everywhere, you gambled. You gambled that you wouldn’t get caught. You were Kentucky Gamblers, and this is the only valedictory you’re getting, courtesy of Merle:

… This Kentucky Gambler planned to get rich quick.

… There at the gambler’s Paradise, Lady luck was on my side
And this Kentucky gambler played just right
Hey, I wanted everything I played, I really thought I had it made
But I should have quit and gone on home that night.

But when you love the green backed dollar, sorrow’s always bound to follow
Pitino’s dreams fade into neon amber
And Lady Luck, she’ll lead you on, she’ll stay a while, and then she’s gone
You better go on home, Kentucky gambler.

… But a gambler never seems to stop till he loses all he’s got
And with a money-hungry fever, I played on
I played till I’d lost all I’d won, I was right back where I’d started from…

Margaret Soltan, September 29, 2017 3:25PM
Posted in: sport

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One Response to “Aw Shit, We’re Gettin’ All the Valedictories Now…”

  1. dmf Says:

    http://www.wnyc.org/story/worst-kept-secret-college-basketball

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