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BREAKING: Dr Pepper has just issued a statement.

We are aware that Sidney Powell held a can of Dr Pepper during her January 6 committee deposition; we are also aware that she drank from it.

Dr Pepper disavows any prior knowledge of this event, and affirms in the strongest terms its rejection of the global conspiracy theories and treasonous activities associated with Ms Powell. In the 125 years since our founding, we have consistently demonstrated love of country and fidelity to the United States and its institutions. We are appalled to see our soft drink featured so prominently in the shameful testimony of Ms Powell. The idea of our company being associated in viewers’ minds in any way with this person is anathema. Please do not judge us by events over which we have no control.

Margaret Soltan, July 12, 2022 1:23PM
Posted in: Genius of the Carpathians

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2 Responses to “BREAKING: Dr Pepper has just issued a statement.”

  1. Donald Pruden, Jr., a/k/a The Enemy Combatant Says:

    For giggles I just googled “Dr. Pepper issues statement” and this site popped up. I would have added, “As well, the family of beverages of which the beloved Dr. Pepper is one wholly rejects the smug and superior smile on Ms. Powell’s face after imbibing. That facial expression is NOT one of the effects of enjoying Dr. Pepper. Please refer to our commercials to see the appropriate expression when enjoying Dr. Pepper.”

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Donald: As a northerner (or is Montgomery Co, MD the northern south?), I have almost no familiarity with Dr Pepper. So whatever you say…

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