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… shuttering the University of Kansas. Inspired by their leader Viktor Orban’s shuttering of one of Europe’s best universities because it was educating Hungarians, Kansas Republicans will argue that as the epicenter of independent thought in the state, KU must shoulder significant blame for the recent landslide electoral victory for individual rights.

“Something has to happen here,” said Republican legislator Patrice O’Neill. “We have footage of zygotes screaming in agony, and you’re never going to be exposed to that at KU.”

“We know that support for abortion rights correlates closely with level of education,” commented representative Mike Walsh, “and it’s a no-brainer – haha – that tertiary schooling is the core of the problem here.”

“We’d be killing two birds with one stone,” added another legislator, Marnie McCoy. “KU’s curriculum is a toxic stew of gender studies and devil worship. It’s time to pull the plug.”

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2 Responses to “In the wake of the overwhelming Kansas vote in favor of abortion rights, expect the next urgent item of legislative business in the statehouse to be…”

  1. TAFKAU Says:

    Such is our current condition that it took me a moment to recognize that this was parody. But then I realized that there’s no way even the most extremist Kansas legislators would recommend closing KU without a provision for preserving Jayhawks basketball.

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    TAFKAU: I thought about adding sports-related snark, but decided to go for total shut-down.

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