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Prone on the Range

Out here in nowhere OK, which is all about guns booze divorce no broadband and no people, suicide is all the rage; and when you’re ready for your Beretta to the brain, more and more folks are realizing that nothing beats a gun range — your one-stop-shop for pop pop pop. Or just pop.

They’ll hand you a gun, man, and while fellow shooters might be put out by your suddenly bleeding all over the place, that’s a whole sight better’n leaving a mess at home for your roommate. Here it’s a bunch of strangers who’ll call 911 right away no muss no fuss.

Which is why gun range suicides are a thing; they are a growing subset of gun suicides not yet exploited by the gun ranges, but I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t start advertising as venues. As OK State Sen Nathan Dahm (who personally made sure OK don’t have NO red flag laws) says, “Everyone dies. That’s life.” I mean SHARUGGG. SHRUUUUG. WTF. BFD. We’re cowboys out here.

You charge more cuz there’s more cleanup — not just a crew to sweep up spent casings, but a special contingent ready to try out a bit of CPR before handing the body off to EMTs and then sopping up the blood/brain.

Margaret Soltan, July 17, 2025 4:33PM
Posted in: guns

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3 Responses to “Prone on the Range”

  1. Dmitry Says:

    Mr. Musk would like a word. Starlink has made broadband available is most places, including remote parts of Oklahoma. I’ll defer to you on the rest of the list.

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Still a ways to go.

  3. Dmitry Says:

    The article raises good points. The Starlink service is available – if the residents choose to spend their money on guns and ammunition instead of moderately-priced broadband, that is their own decision.

    See also Dorothy Parker on horticulture.

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