In a blistering speech broadcast today, Senator Rand Paul (pictured) attacked Anthony Fauci as “traitorous scum that I will spit out like a midge.” America, he said, must “purify” itself of “seditious trash” like Fauci.

Analysts noted Rand’s puffy face and trembling hands as indicators of rage and frustration that his long campaign to destroy Fauci continues to meet with failure. Observers found particularly chilling Rand’s flourishing, at one point, of a poisoned-tip umbrella.

[satire]

China still has a ways to go. But better late than never.

That leaves Tucker Carlson and his ode to you know who:

You and me against the world
Sometimes it seems like you and me against the world
When all the others turn their backs and walk away
You can count on me to stay

Remember when Zelenskyy came to town
And you were frightened by his frown
Wasn’t it nice to be around someone that you knew
Someone who was big and strong and looking out for

You and me against the world
Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world

And for all the times we’ve cried I always felt that
Xi was on our side

And now that he is gone
And only two are left to carry on
Then remembering will have to do
Our memories of massacres will get us through
Think about the days of me and you
You and me against the world

First it makes it sound utopian; then it announces there are no houses for sale.

Mother Russia was robbed by us fellas they say.
That's why we've got such wonderful yachts.
Give a little to charity?  No, nyet, and nay!
 We're spending each ruble we got.

 We docked in Ibiza, but then they said 'ey, please-ah:
All di Rusos get out: bye bye! 
Then we pondered it - Hum... hum... Where is the place for pond scum?
And the answer was clear: Dubai!

... Yes, Dubai!  Yes, Dubai!
For there's nothing too vile for Dubai!
Ukrainians die and our money piles high
Come one and come all to Dubai.

Because it’s funny – including the cat video.

… leave Garrett Park to go shelling on the Delaware beaches, while everyone knows that the real shelling action in that state lies within the nondescript buildings in Wilmington that house shell companies from around the world.

People are beginning to be aware of this because of all them Russky oligarchs in the news.

For the state of Delaware, these small [incorporation] fees add up to as much as 41% of the state’s entire revenue. In 2019, they collectively amounted to $1.4B...

Adopted in 1899, the Delaware General Corporation Law “reduced restrictions upon corporate action to a minimum” and promised to maintain the most hospitable business enclave in the nation — a place where corporations could frolic in the open fields of capitalism, unencumbered by income tax, bureaucratic policing, and shareholder litigation.

As we frolic ‘pon the open early spring fields of sand, all around us the open fields of capitalism sprout another astounding bumper crop for wee Delaware and we are so oblivious. It’s all secret, see, so even if we wanted to shake the sand off our feet and take a serious look at Delaware’s incomparable tax haven we couldn’t.

Delaware and Nevada are two of the jurisdictions where it is the easiest to obtain the anonymous companies money launderers like best. Those states are in fact significantly less transparent than famous tax havens like the British Virgin Islands... Delaware and Nevada have not just risked the rest of the country, they have risked the entire world. They have tunneled a gaping hole in the domestic laws of any country concerned with preventing corruption, fraud, tax evasion, drug trafficking, terrorism, and all the other ills facilitated by anonymous shell companies.

Here’s one guy who at one time had a slew of Delaware shell companies:

On 2 November 2011, [Victor] Bout was convicted by a jury in a Manhattan federal court of conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens and officials, delivery of anti-aircraft missiles, and providing aid to a terrorist organization, and was sentenced to 25 years’ imprisonment. Since June 2012, Bout has been held at the United States Penitentiary, Marion.

This guy must be itching to help Putin’s war effort!

[T]here’s also the element of his personal hatred for Hillary Clinton, and it’s not just hate her. I think it’s like Hillary Clinton was impossible as a U.S. president. To imagine that he would have to deal with her as a senior partner, a woman—I mean, he already has to deal with [German Chancellor Angela] Merkel. The lengths that he has gone to to assert his masculine dominance over Merkel is amazing. He literally sicced dogs on her. He has made indecent jokes in front of her, just to try to discomfort her. He hates dealing with a strong woman, and one as president of the United States would be just awful.

Seems reasonable to ol’ UD, and in making this law for at least one of its regions, India is acting in accord with a lot of other countries.

Karnataka’s high court, that is, has ruled that the hijab is not a required religious garment. Those who want a different outcome can appeal the ruling to the supreme court, though I doubt a higher court will reverse it.

The fear … is that the BJP is trying again to impose its Hindu majority agenda on the minorities by depriving them of their right to religion and their freedom of choice.

That’s a very reasonable fear; yet given the routine nature, around the globe, of restrictions on school uniforms, I’m not sure it pertains in this case. In the matter of India, UD is more scandalized by this:

[A recent] government introduced Vedic astrology as a subject in college curricula, despite opposition from several leading scientists.

… UD sings Tom Lehrer.

Wotta shocker.

… and the little missus done got that right. Back in 2017, when the state’s newspaper gushed about LSU’s basketball coach boy wonder, Will Wade‘s wife hit it right on the head: Like virtually all of LSU’s storied basketball and football coaches from the word go, young Wade was dirty as the day is long. And as he now departs the school in the time-honored way of its sports leaders — driven out by years of every conceivable violation — we can only comb through our many LSU is the scummiest school in America except maybe for Baylor posts and ponder, as we like to do, America’s poorest, most corrupt, most violent state and its long dedication to three million dollar a year filthy rotten coaches.

Let’s narrate this from the POV of a Bama boy – Bama itself definitely competitive in the southern jock school corruption sweepstakes, of course:

There’s squat going on today, but — dear reader — your Gump Day comes in strong with a bit of schadenfreude, as the sweatiest man this side of Al Golden, at the dirtiest program this side of SMU, finally had the NCAA hammer drop on them.

Or, at least the first part.

To the absolute surprise of no one, a man under investigation by the FBI, at a school under investigation for widespread sexual assault and Title IX violations, and two programs with a history of dirty dealing, have all finally received their Notice of Allegations.

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Oh yeah. Forgot SMU. Lawdie! [flicks hankie o’er lightly sweated brow] Hard to keep up, ain’t it? … But let me add, and I mean this in the nicest way, that we don’t need no big-city Yankee scolds telln us how to educate our youth at our fine universities! Take all the pleasure you want in our anguish, Mr Fancy Pants; we’ll be back bigger and better than ever ‘fore you can say Dave Bliss!

[The British government sought] to find a way to make sure that Chelsea could continue to function, roughly as normal, once Abramovich’s other assets were frozen. The players, the staff and the fans — especially the fans — must not suffer, the government said. A few hours earlier, Russian artillery had shelled a maternity hospital in Mariupol, Ukraine. But the government was clear: The sanctity of the Premier League could not be sullied...

His arrival marked the start of what will come, in time, to be thought of as soccer’s oligarch age. It was Abramovich, as noted last week, whose arrival kick-started the inflationary spiral that has fractured European soccer beyond repair, with only a handful of clubs hoarding all of the wealth of the game, ruthlessly stripping its natural resources for their benefit...

Soccer’s age of the oligarch is over. This time, there can be no excuse for failing to understand what the game has become. On that, we have clarity.

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This was four years ago, laddies.