Ever since a team called the Baltimore BULLETS…

… decided that name wasn’t quite … appropriate … or … haha… decided it was too appropriate… there’s been a dynamic linguistic reappraisal going on in the sports world generally.

For instance, now that Little Leaguers all over the country have been dropping and rolling on the field as bullets fly, we’re beginning to revisit some baseball slang that, if used, could cause pandemonium.

Words and phrases currently being assessed include:

bang-bang play

battery

dead red

fireman

five-tool player

heat

moon shot

platoon

twin killing

bleeder

base hit

hit and run

shot

slugger

‘[T]heir daughter has worn a hijab since she was 9 months old.’

Gevalt.

April Heard, Ghost Guessed…

… as Gerard Manley Hopkins would put it if he were writing his famous poem today. How could anyone who knows, even a little bit, our simulacral world, be surprised that the notorious Washington Post opinion piece currently ruining April Heard’s life wasn’t even written by her?

Shocked, shocked to find that illegal use is going on in here.

Over the past decade, more than 1,000 crime guns have been traced to Firing Line Inc., a gun store in South Philadelphia that federal inspectors have cited for failing to stop straw purchases, losing track of weapons, refusing to run timely background checks and a lack of reporting on suspicious buyers.

In 2017, after several warnings, A.T.F. officials concluded that the owner “failed to maintain accurate information,” but they allowed the shop to remain in business, in part, because inspectors must prove intent to shutter a licensed dealer. Since then, 399 new crime guns have been traced to the location, according to Brady.

The Russian Nihilists

[In perhaps the most shocking declaration about a nuclear holocaust delivered on Russian television in recent months, Simonyan concluded that the idea “that everything will end with a nuclear strike, to me, is more probable than the other outcome. This is to my horror, on one hand, but on the other hand, with the understanding that it is what it is. … We are all going to die someday.]

***************************

From a Russian documentary about Nikolay Chernyshevsky:

Nihilist: Ve believes in nossing, Lebowski. Nossing. And tomorrow ve come back and ve cut off your chonson.

The Dude: Excuse me?

Nihilist: I said we’ll cut off your johnson!


Nihilist #2: Just think about that, Lebowski.


Nihilist: Ja, your viggly penis, Lebowski.


Nihilist #3: Yeah and maybe we stomp on it and squoosh it, Lebowski.

UD WRITES A NEWSPAPER POEM…

… in which she versifies words found in a newspaper article. Other examples.

*******************************

INGENUITY HELICOPTER

The parachute, intact,
Its suspension lines
Trailing from the back-
shell, lies in olivine
Along the rocks.

The salmon surface pocks.

This otherworldly wreckage
Has a supersonic message.

My detachment, while alarming,
Shows no obvious signs of charring.
You and your scribe study chaos control.
All to calm my fiery roll.
Lauren Bernett puts one in mind of Katie Meyer…

… both young brilliant athletes – leaders on notable college teams – and both suicides. Meyer died last month, Bernett just the other day. Also last month, a young runner at the University of Wisconsin – Sarah Shulze – killed herself.

Shulze’s parents wrote that her effort to balance “athletics, academics and the demands of every day life … overwhelmed her in a single, desperate moment.” And impulsivity is indeed the mark of most youthful suicides; the same incredible energy that propelled many of these people to academic as well as athletic heights turns against the person herself when she – who knows? – suddenly and catastrophically falls short of her self-demands. Or is it that a hyper-intense life is vulnerable to collapse when for whatever reason the intensity flags, the adrenaline drops?

When I say who knows, I really mean who knows. We can mark these recurrences, common characteristics, etc. But the act itself remains shockingly obscure.

The great American pastime, handed down generation after generation.

Bullet-riddled baseball is a uniquely American rite of passage, from the big boys of Congress to the Little Leaguers.

Orban Decay

Mr. Orban found support from Mr. Trump, former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, and from the Italian populist leader and former Deputy Prime Minister Matteo Salvini. But they are all gone, as Mr. Jansa is expected to be…

For UD’s completely bored take on Hungary, go here.

Oh, and note to Vermeule and the brethren: Reserve your Budapest Baptismal Blowout today! While you still can.

Two additional items from the Nazi-assassins cache uncovered by …

… the Russian police.

Vlady Depp

Only two channels these days: You can watch Johnny Depp fall to pieces, or watch Vladimir Putin fall to pieces.

High-steppin’ strutters now limping into old age, grandiose world-conquerors who’ve lost it all, both of these woman-haters currently bloat and tremble on the global stage as their badly over-played machismo bites them in the butt. Women, says Depp, famously, are “cum-guzzlers”; Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton represent, in their freakish rise to male power, a personal insult to Vlad.

To be sure, one of these people might destroy the world, while the other has merely a film career to nuke (if you want to throw in Will Smith – currently staging a reincarnation in India – go ahead), but both offer the riveting and enlightening spectacle of the power of delusion and the delusions of power. Putin pursues a hopeless war; Depp presses one hopeless lawsuit after another, with profound carnage along the way. Our role is to be disgusted (and, in the case of Putin, afraid) as we fail to take our eyes off of the very worst outcomes of a reactionary ethos.

For those looking for…

silver linings. And of course there’s Macron’s victory over Le Pen.

‘On Thursday, a Jack in the Box employee in Houston was shot in a dispute with a customer over sauce. The customer … pulled into the drive-thru and asked for more buttermilk. When he was told it would come with a surcharge, an argument ensued. The customer pulled up to the front of the restaurant and argued with an off-duty employee, who tried to cross the street to get away. However, the customer allegedly shot him in the hand.’

Newsweek.

La Kid’s currently dining at the Kennedy Center with Jimmy Kimmel, Steve Carell, and Jon Stewart at the …

… dinner before tomorrow’s ceremony awarding Stewart the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. The whole thing’s vegan. She snapped a pic of the first course:

Too busy filming himself to kill anyone.

WUSA9 counted more than 60 gunshots over a 19-second span with the [Connecticut Avenue] shooter reloading once in the middle of the 2 volleys of bullets.

The video [taken by the shooter] is unstable at times and the sheer terror of it all is seen more clearly in freeze frames taken from the footage.

The shooter appears to have modified the camera to include a red bull’s-eye on the screen. First, taking aim at a poster for a recent fundraiser in the Edmund Burke School window. A few frames later, after the shots start, you can see four bullet holes in that same window. Just feet away, a young student appears to be ducking.

A couple of frames later, the bull’s-eye in the video appears to be tracking the students as they run for their lives. Then the shooter turns his sights back on the street and a person in a yellow vest who dives between parked cars to shield himself from the gunfire.

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UD REVIEWED

Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
New York Times

George Washington University English professor Margaret Soltan writes a blog called University Diaries, in which she decries the Twilight Zone-ish state our holy land’s institutes of higher ed find themselves in these days.
The Electron Pencil

It’s [UD's] intellectual honesty that makes her blog required reading.
Professor Mondo

There's always something delightful and thought intriguing to be found at Margaret Soltan's no-holds-barred, firebrand tinged blog about university life.
AcademicPub

You can get your RDA of academic liars, cheats, and greedy frauds at University Diaries. All disciplines, plus athletics.
truffula, commenting at Historiann

Margaret Soltan at University Diaries blogs superbly and tirelessly about [university sports] corruption.
Dagblog

University Diaries. Hosted by Margaret Soltan, professor of English at George Washington University. Boy is she pissed — mostly about athletics and funding, the usual scandals — but also about distance learning and diploma mills. She likes poems too. And she sings.
Dissent: The Blog

[UD belittles] Mrs. Palin's degree in communications from the University of Idaho...
The Wall Street Journal

Professor Margaret Soltan, blogging at University Diaries... provide[s] an important voice that challenges the status quo.
Lee Skallerup Bessette, Inside Higher Education

[University Diaries offers] the kind of attention to detail in the use of language that makes reading worthwhile.
Sean Dorrance Kelly, Harvard University

Margaret Soltan's ire is a national treasure.
Roland Greene, Stanford University

The irrepressibly to-the-point Margaret Soltan...
Carlat Psychiatry Blog

Margaret Soltan, whose blog lords it over the rest of ours like a benevolent tyrant...
Perplexed with Narrow Passages

Margaret Soltan is no fan of college sports and her diatribes on the subject can be condescending and annoying. But she makes a good point here...
Outside the Beltway

From Margaret Soltan's excellent coverage of the Bernard Madoff scandal comes this tip...
Money Law

University Diaries offers a long-running, focused, and extremely effective critique of the university as we know it.
Anthony Grafton, American Historical Association

The inimitable Margaret Soltan is, as usual, worth reading. ...
Medical Humanities Blog

I awake this morning to find that the excellent Margaret Soltan has linked here and thereby singlehandedly given [this blog] its heaviest traffic...
Ducks and Drakes

As Margaret Soltan, one of the best academic bloggers, points out, pressure is mounting ...
The Bitch Girls

Many of us bloggers worry that we don’t post enough to keep people’s interest: Margaret Soltan posts every day, and I more or less thought she was the gold standard.
Tenured Radical

University Diaries by Margaret Soltan is one of the best windows onto US university life that I know.
Mary Beard, A Don's Life

[University Diaries offers] a broad sense of what's going on in education today, framed by a passionate and knowledgeable reporter.
More magazine, Canada

If deity were an elected office, I would quit my job to get her on the ballot.
Notes of a Neophyte

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