A curious conference at Bard
Has left its professors quite scarred.
When asked about Summa
They say Man what a bumma.
Disregard! Disregard! Disregard!
************************
UD thanks Josh.
A curious conference at Bard
Has left its professors quite scarred.
When asked about Summa
They say Man what a bumma.
Disregard! Disregard! Disregard!
************************
UD thanks Josh.
From Harvard the gift of the Niall
Approaches with crocodile smile.
To contemplate him
Is to think of the hymn:
“And only the human is vile.”
***********************
Update: A British reader corrects my pronunciation of Niall (should sound like neel). All I can say in my own defense is that I had an Irish boyfriend once who pronounced it nile. (At least that’s how I recall it – it’s been a long time.) I’m also rebuked here:
Niall pronounce Nile is an Anglification of the name and it takes the heritage out of the name
Gevalt. Excuse me.
To play for Wisconsin’s Coach Wardle
Is to bear a Shakespearean fardel.
For his temper’s quite short
When he’s out on the court.
So be sure that you’re well-stocked with Nardil.
An orthodox rabbi named Broyde
Has created an internet droid.
The job of ‘Goldwasser’
Is to kiss Broyde’s asser
So that Broyde may most fully love Broyde.
He’s a professor at Emory law school.
The drunks at H-S and Ole Miss
Went out late to take a group piss.
“The libs and the fairies
Have all gone for Barry.
What the hell kind of country is this?”
A Tennessee boy with a butt
Has thus far refused to say what
Substance or dose
He somehow osmosed
Has so oddly distended his gut.
**********************
Update: Dave, a reader, writes a limerick in response to the student’s explanation that he can’t have buttchugged because God doesn’t want him to desecrate his body. That way. Putting enough alcohol in it to kill it – however it went up or down – is another matter.
God says you can’t drink with your butt
And it’s not ours to ask “why?” or “what?”
It’s like non-cloven hooves,
Or getting tattoos,
Or leaving your penis uncut.
It would be GREAT for limericks. And I (and many UD readers) love to write limericks.
Mitt Romney thinks David Petraeus
Might be his ex machina deus
But his choice of vp
Seems so nutty to me
That I’m sitting here scratching my payos.
Behind Joe Paterno’s ex-halo
There hangs a remarkable tale-o.
Of grooming and showers
And absolute powers…
But better to draw here a veil-o.
Librarian down here at Shorter
Thought thoughts that he shouldna oughter.
That man done got caught
In the sin of free thought!
Lord, we kicked out the godless cavorter.
Notre Dame’s Most Revered Father Jenky
Made its faculty members quite crenky:
“This embarrassing shmoe
Called the Prez Uncle Joe.
We are going give him a spenky.”
The doctor in charge at Sloan-Kettering
Found his previous gig somewhat fettering.
“That job at U Penn?
This is now; that was then.
I’m simply engaged in self-bettering.”
Who knows how much of it had to do with efforts to protect the reputation of a storied sports program?
Whatever the motives, Penn State’s athletic director and vice president for finance will turn themselves in to the authorities on Monday. Both are charged with perjury and failure to report in a sex scandal involving the football team’s former defensive coordinator.
For fifteen years, Jerry Sandusky was a “a sexual predator who used his position within the university and community to repeatedly prey on young boys.” The charge is that the other men knew about it but did nothing, and then lied about their knowledge of it to a grand jury. Did they protect Sandusky because he was “closely identified with the school’s reputation as a defensive powerhouse and a program that produced top-quality linebackers”?
*************************
UD thanks David.
*************************
UPDATE: “We all make little mistakes in our lives.”
Title of Sandusky’s autobiography: Touched.
**************************
The legend of Penn State’s Sandusky
Is beginning to smell rather musky.
Their glorious coach
Is a bit of a roach.
Not to mention a bit of a putzsky.
A Dutchman named Diederik Stapel
Was asked why his life took a topple.
“You could say, if you want,
That my work’s vol met stront.
(In English, that’s all full of crapel.”).”
**************************************
UD thanks Jeremy for updates on this story.
A group of the chronic fatigued
Have whipped up a bit of intrigue:
“If you’re otherwise skilled
You will have to be killed.
Researchers must stay in our league.”
A colleague of UD‘s named Turley
Wants one boy to have many girlies.
“My thing on polygamy
Makes UD quite sick of me,
And even my wife has turned surly.”
Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
New York Times
George Washington University English professor Margaret Soltan writes a blog called University Diaries, in which she decries the Twilight Zone-ish state our holy land’s institutes of higher ed find themselves in these days.
The Electron Pencil
It’s [UD's] intellectual honesty that makes her blog required reading.
Professor Mondo
There's always something delightful and thought intriguing to be found at Margaret Soltan's no-holds-barred, firebrand tinged blog about university life.
AcademicPub
You can get your RDA of academic liars, cheats, and greedy frauds at University Diaries. All disciplines, plus athletics.
truffula, commenting at Historiann
Margaret Soltan at University Diaries blogs superbly and tirelessly about [university sports] corruption.
Dagblog
University Diaries. Hosted by Margaret Soltan, professor of English at George Washington University. Boy is she pissed — mostly about athletics and funding, the usual scandals — but also about distance learning and diploma mills. She likes poems too. And she sings.
Dissent: The Blog
[UD belittles] Mrs. Palin's degree in communications from the University of Idaho...
The Wall Street Journal
Professor Margaret Soltan, blogging at University Diaries... provide[s] an important voice that challenges the status quo.
Lee Skallerup Bessette, Inside Higher Education
[University Diaries offers] the kind of attention to detail in the use of language that makes reading worthwhile.
Sean Dorrance Kelly, Harvard University
Margaret Soltan's ire is a national treasure.
Roland Greene, Stanford University
The irrepressibly to-the-point Margaret Soltan...
Carlat Psychiatry Blog
Margaret Soltan, whose blog lords it over the rest of ours like a benevolent tyrant...
Perplexed with Narrow Passages
Margaret Soltan is no fan of college sports and her diatribes on the subject can be condescending and annoying. But she makes a good point here...
Outside the Beltway
From Margaret Soltan's excellent coverage of the Bernard Madoff scandal comes this tip...
Money Law
University Diaries offers a long-running, focused, and extremely effective critique of the university as we know it.
Anthony Grafton, American Historical Association
The inimitable Margaret Soltan is, as usual, worth reading. ...
Medical Humanities Blog
I awake this morning to find that the excellent Margaret Soltan has linked here and thereby singlehandedly given [this blog] its heaviest traffic...
Ducks and Drakes
As Margaret Soltan, one of the best academic bloggers, points out, pressure is mounting ...
The Bitch Girls
Many of us bloggers worry that we don’t post enough to keep people’s interest: Margaret Soltan posts every day, and I more or less thought she was the gold standard.
Tenured Radical
University Diaries by Margaret Soltan is one of the best windows onto US university life that I know.
Mary Beard, A Don's Life
[University Diaries offers] a broad sense of what's going on in education today, framed by a passionate and knowledgeable reporter.
More magazine, Canada
If deity were an elected office, I would quit my job to get her on the ballot.
Notes of a Neophyte