… American-style!

… diplomatically. Or you can just say it. It is what it is.

But when your country has 133 million guns lying around, it’s a problem.

I’ve pretty much given up covering, on this blog, the incessant stories about loaded guns left in restrooms, park benches, classrooms, and hospitals. About twelve year olds walking around the neighborhood holding AR-15s. Guns in this country are like falling leaves in the autumn, seashells in the summer, snowflakes in the winter, and pollen in the spring. It’s raining guns.

Because of all the mass killings, many Americans are currently scared shitless about getting ripped to shreds by an AR-15, so we’re seeing far more reporting of threats and sightings and all. Before everyone got scared shitless, I guess the sight of a little boy walking in front of your house carrying an AR-15 was like, okay. Fine. But now it’s like wait maybe that’s not good.

So even though we’re pretty stupid ’round these parts, it begins to look as though the fact that guns are dangerous is sinking in.

————–

Or rather – times being what they are – fifty thousand bullets.

Syracuse was lucky – a gun store owner reported the student; his landlord happened to enter his apartment and told police about his arsenal; he’s not an American and was rapidly deported.

What about your school? Are things going to break your way?

Declaring itself “disappointed” with Norman, who began a constituent meeting in his state by taking out a loaded pistol and leaving it on a table between him the audience because – in Norman’s words – “I”m not going to be a Gabby Giffords,” the National Rifle Association has withdrawn its endorsement from a politician who – in the words of a spokesperson – “chose, in the face of danger, to display a pistol rather than open-carry an assault weapon.”

“Representative Norman’s preparation for his latest voter meet and greet included neither body armor nor PBIED,” the NRA press release noted. “Well-sourced reports also indicate that Norman greeted supporters at a recent Campaign Volunteers High Tea with little more than a pink Hello Kitty gun.”

“It was a last-minute event and I grabbed something from my toddler’s room,” said Norman, who pledged it would not happen again.

****************

Aw you guys is no fun!

The South Carolina Democratic Party released this statement: “According to Section 16-23-410 of the South Carolina code, “it is unlawful for a person to present or point at another person a loaded or unloaded firearm’…

“By his own admission, US Rep Ralph Norman brandished a loaded gun in a public setting on Friday to make a point. Not only were his actions irresponsible and dangerous – they were illegal.

“As any truly responsible gun owner knows and as the statute says, if you have a concealed carry permit, you cannot brandish your weapon without an imminent threat. It’s dangerous and it’s illegal. And today Congressman Norman showed us that he’s anything but responsible,’ said South Carolina Democratic Party Chairman Trav Robertson. “This is a felony offense and punishable by up to five years in prison. That’s why I will be sending an official request to SLED to investigate Congressman Norman’s dangerous actions.

Chairman Robertson continued, “Rep. Norman only did this because he barely got elected the first time and needs votes. He’s worried about his campaign. This was a stunt and he should be punished for violating the law. I hope law enforcement moves swiftly to resolve the matter. It didn’t work for Roy Moore and it won’t work for Ralph Norman.”

Well but t’aint the same! Ol’ Roy dint just brandish guns! He fucked underage girlies too!

It’s America’s newest pastime — when you run out of room at home for your 500th stockpiled weapon, start storing in your kid’s backpack.

[Sun has] always been interested in building a law enforcement career and [has] already enrolled in a US university to study criminal justice, starting from August this year.

Let’s hope it’s a school that shares his passion for mass killing.

Here at University Diaries, we’re following one of many stories involving teeny weeny middle school and high school students accumulating massive arsenals and tipping off school buddies that they plan to massacre everyone in the place. The buddies then tip off the principal, who tips off the police, who visit the babe’s home and find … you know … standard boy stuff…

In a sea of teenagers stockpiling weaponry with which to kill everyone at their school, this guy stands out for the sheer depth and range of his armory, apparently maintained with the happy collusion (encouragement?) of his parents in Taiwan and his host mother here. (His host mother, knowing the police were on their way, took the kid’s weaponry out of the house and gave it to a friend so she could lie and say the kid didn’t have weaponry. The police eventually found it anyway.)

All the major networks are featuring the kid and his famous parents (they’re actors in Taiwan), and Homeland Security is on the scene, reading all of his electronic devices. But hey. His parents have issued a request that we all respect their privacy as they go through the process of watching the American justice system put their kid away for years, onaccounta making terroristic threats and holding – hiding – mucho illegal weaponry is for some reason lately around here a very big deal.

Here’s why we should all stop talking about this: The folks have explained that it was all a linguistic misunderstanding – their kid said something, I guess, to his friend, but due to the language barrier an unfortunate misunderstanding ensued. Even if, haha, he did say something about killing everyone in his school, he was just kidding. Not only that, but all the personal armor in the kid’s stash was bought exclusively for Halloween. So keep your trap shut.

UD‘s beloved DeLillo stars in the New Yorker’s account of the YouTube killings.

There will be a temptation to read the attack as a dark parable of the attention economy — the story of someone so hungry for views that she took a handgun to those who, in her belief, had limited them. But the truer story is that going berserk with guns has become a way of American life.

Correct. Guns are now the way America’s berserk turn down the bed and turn out the lights.

[E]very country contains mentally ill and potentially violent people. Only America arms them.

… playbook, the host mother of a fully-weaponized 18-year-old exchange student decided – on hearing that the police wanted to visit the arsenal he’d build up in her house – to gather up his guns and ammo and give them to a friend – for safekeeping, I guess. Keep it all safe until the visit from the authorities – triggered by a wee threat the exchange student made to slaughter everyone in his school – was over. Begone, 9 MM Glock and the 1600 rounds of ammunition! (The ammo was not merely for the Glock, but for an AK-47, an AR-15, and a shotgun).

UD is starting to enjoy recurrent features of the infinitely recurrent crazed-baby-with-an-arsenal story. Her favorite thing of all is the standard response of legal counsel to the wittle one’s situation.

Every one of them finds herself in the position of issuing public assurances that unstable children who make threats and accumulate

a military-style ballistic vest, crossbow with scope and light, 20 rounds of 9mm ammunition, military ski mask, ammunition clip loader, a strangulation apparatus known as a garrote, and other equipment

— plus a Glock and ammo not merely for the Glock but for the AK-47 he was in the process of assembling for himself, plus a shotgun — are sweet tow-headed exemplary lads trying to get a head start on their life-saving careers as policemen.

[This is] an affable, precocious student with no discipline or antisocial tendencies. The young man’s parents have flown in from Taiwan and fully support their child. Our investigation reveals that there was no intention to terrorize or otherwise commit any criminal act. The family is concerned by the rising level of rhetoric that is being transmitted to the news media and hopes that the public will keep an open mind as all the facts and circumstances are brought forward.” [The threat-issuer is simply] interested in a law-enforcement career and [is] planning to major in criminal justice at a university, [says his former attorney].

Back off, baby! Terroristic threats and extensive personal arsenals, collected at age 17, demonstrate affability and prosocial tendencies.

And how about this: His parents love him! And look out cuz they don’t like your rhetoric and there’s no telling what people in this family will do when they’re pissed off.

Plus good going undermining his intellectual development as he scopes out a new home for his arsenal: a dormitory.

*****************

A boy and his toys. Awwwwwww.

Taking off from Patek Philippe’s iconic slogan, University Diaries continues its special series on fathers, and sons, and guns.

Violent, mentally disturbed daddy had his gun taken away from him – twice – but this is America, and after awhile they gave it back! So I guess to celebrate he “returned home from work [last year] and went to bed, leaving his duty Glock 19 [He’s a parole officer! I ain’t making this up.] loaded and unsecured on a living room desk.”

*************

Now we all know how easy and popular it is, when you kinda feel blue, to grab the domestic firearm that’s just sitting there on the living room desk, the Glock that’s murmuring to you how quickly and painlessly it’ll make your blues go away… We all know that tons of our fellow citizens, every single day, pick up America’s most abundant and convenient home appliance and have at their cortex with it. Little 18 year old William Han Manstrom-Greening is – was – one of those fellow Americans, and he has his father to thank for his early exit.

But now dad’s un p’tit peu up shit’s creek, as is the parole office which figured rearming a guy who repeatedly “harassed and threatened violence against co-workers and his wife,” and who also had a “history of mental health diagnoses, including severe depression and bipolar disorder,” made sense. Cuz they’re both being sued by the kid’s estate for wrongful death.

One final detail: “After the 18-year-old’s death, the county took no disciplinary action against” the father, which UD assumes means, among other things, that he’s still packing and still leaving his loaded Glock lying around the house. Wonder if he has any other kids.

**********************

Why did Greening – does Greening – keep getting guns? Because this is a man’s world. And that is what Isabelle Robinson has had to learn.

A year after I was assaulted by Mr. Cruz, I was assigned to tutor him through my school’s peer counseling program. Being a peer counselor was the first real responsibility I had ever had, my first glimpse of adulthood, and I took it very seriously.

Despite my discomfort, I sat down with him, alone. I was forced to endure his cursing me out and ogling my chest until the hourlong session ended. When I was done, I felt a surge of pride for having organized his binder and helped him with his homework.

Looking back, I am horrified. I now understand that I was left, unassisted, with a student who had a known history of rage and brutality.

Why was that? Why was Cruz still in Robinson’s high school at that late date, and why was that high school leaving her alone with him?

My little sister is now the age that I was when I was left alone with Mr. Cruz, anxious and defenseless. The thought of her being put in the same situation that I was fills me with rage.

Her WHAT… ME? face grins out from her mug shot.

Teacher’s aide Gillian Jeffords is clearly attempting to understand why her clever idea of bringing a loaded 9 mm Ruger to a classroom full of developmentally disabled children, and placing it, accessible to everyone, in her open purse, has upset people. Has gotten her fired. Has moved the “Board of Cooperative Educational Services [to take out] a restraining order against [her], barring her from contact with students, their families and staff and being on board property. She is also prohibited from [all] Clarkstown school district facilities…”

*****************

I mean, hellooo people are we not overreacting? I brought the gun because

1.) guns have been shown to be very therapeutic for many people; and

2.) if any of my charges misbehave, I can kill them.

REMINGTON FILES FOR BANKRUPTCY

Well lookee all you big strong men
Sandy Hook sued your ass again
They got your guns in a terrible jam
Made you stop going bam bam bam
So pay off your debt and put down your gun
Gonna have a whole lotta fun

And it’s one, two, three,
What are we fighting for?
First goal your weaponry
Next goal insolvency

And it’s five, six, ‘leven
Now declaring bankruptcy
Well there ain’t no time to wonder why
Remy! your gun’s gonna die

Yeah come on Wall Street don’t be slow
AR-15 gonna lose you dough
Used to be plenty good money made
Selling Steve Paddock tools of his trade
Now instead of making loot
You got a helluva class action suit

And it’s one, two, three,
What are we fighting for?
First goal’s your weaponry
Next goal insolvency

And it’s five, six, ‘leven
Now declaring bankruptcy
Well there ain’t no time to wonder why
Remy! your gun’s gonna die

Anthem for Doomed Youth

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
— Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,—
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls’ brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

************

Wilfred Owen
1917

“Collectively all of these items certainly suggest a specific recipe for large-scale destruction,” said Peter Tyler, Ithaca’s police chief, [about a Cornell student’s pantry stockpile of “an AR-15-style rifle, a shrapnel bomb fashioned from a firework, more than 300 rounds of ammunition for various guns, a bulletproof vest, a homemade silencer, trauma supplies and food rations.”].

Yum! Simple, easy to assemble ingredients, and a real treat for everyone outside your eighth-floor window.