… is moving right along.

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UD thanks her sister
for taking the pic.

Click for a bigger view.

Too bloody even for the Red States.

Admit it. You’re gonna miss him when he’s gone.

The Gophers AD, Norwood Teague,
Got caught up in a bit of intrigue.
His request to go down
Drew an unfriendly frown
And now he is out of his league.

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UD thanks Roy.

La Kid is as we speak bouldering
at Glendalough, Upper Lake, Ireland.

A commenter wonders which of Phyllis Wise’s many challenges and screw-ups might have pushed her recent appointment as University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign chancellor over the edge. She has just announced her resignation.

UIUC certainly does know how to pick ’em. Let us not forget Richard Herman.

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UD thanks Wendy.

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Here’s what UD considers an appropriate headline for Wise’s departure, highlighting her main accomplishment:

Nike Board Member Phyllis Wise Resigns as Illinois Chancellor

… Rape you!”

While you’re unconscious!

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UD thanks John.

… [US Rep. George] Holding and the rest of North Carolina’s congressional delegation have said little about the UNC scandal, which experts say is the worst academic scandal they’ve seen in NCAA history.

Asked in early 2014 about the scandal, Holding declined to comment through a spokesperson.

… Holding said Wednesday that Congress is too broken to fix the issues in college sports that have landed the state’s flagship campus in a major academic scandal.

“Congress is broken, we have a lot on our plate,” Holding, a Raleigh Republican, said in a visit to The News & Observer’s offices. “If we can’t fix the things that are solidly within our jurisdiction I have a hard time believing that we can figure out how to fix college sports.”

Hey yeah y’all leave it be we’re too broken to take on anything as awesome as fixing college sports we’re just tryin’ to get the lilac trimmed on this here Capitol building…

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My opinion is that the [new Vikings] stadium is going quite a bit over budget in order to fulfill everything the team wants out of the building.

Sid Hartman, Minnesota Star Tribune.

I mean, by prevailing standards.

[Herbert] Gamboa and his fellow returning starting [University of Montana] linebackers, Kendrick Van Ackeren and Jeremiah Kose, were expected to be a strong point in the Griz defense against a vaunted NDSU team that has gone 58-3 in the past four seasons. Both Gamboa and Kose had scrapes with the law last week, though.

Kose, 22, was arrested last Wednesday on a failure to appear charge regarding three moving violations from last November. Kose participated in Tuesday’s practice and is expected to play against the Bison later this month…

Gamboa, 21, was arrested early Friday morning after witnesses saw him challenging other people to fight outside a Maurice Avenue house party at about 12:30 a.m.

He pleaded guilty Monday in Missoula Municipal Court to one disorderly conduct charge, a misdemeanor, and received a six-month deferred sentence.

Better put an armed guard on Van Ackeren.

Nyah-nyah.

… for Phyllis Wise’s latest achievement: As the recently appointed chancellor of the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, she has, in four short years, shepherded her school to Number One on the nation’s top party school list.

Background on Wise, whose jocklove also contributed to her school’s triumph, here.

I’m sure they miss her at the University of Washington.

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UD thanks John.

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Update on her winning faculty recruitment strategies.

A wag puts the outrageously mismanaged University of Akron on Craigslist.

… (insignia here) keeps getting its siphoning system disrupted. In the good old days, government-money-funneling enabled its academic officers to make salaries in the tens of millions, but now – after destroying the lives of scores of dupes – the well is drying up. Things will be fine again once President Trump (himself a university president) takes office; but for now, Phoenix is enduring an “endless stream of bad news” (UD thanks Wendy for the link) in the form of business practice investigations, new rules about how you can’t take student money and say thanks fuck off, etc.

And that’s Phoenix. That’s the classiest of the for-profit ed tax-siphon lot. You can imagine how the rats are deserting at, say, DeVry, where, for instance, after collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars for trading on his reputable past, the disgraced Harold Shapiro got his ass out while the getting was good.

UD loves to chronicle the intellectual life of her beloved country, as it plays out in our universities.

U President Vows to Push for Stadium Liquor Sales, for instance, is a headline that says so much about the preoccupations of our highest-ranked academic officers; and then there’s the University of Houston’s leader – Coach Herman – whose threatening language to UH students about their unwillingness to attend football games makes us all wonder what he plans to do if they continue to act like students rather than fans.

UD totally understands the coach’s desperate rhetoric: UH just spent $128 million on a new 40,000-seat stadium, and at best it’s half-filled on game day. Of that half, I’m figuring not many are students, and, well, the conceit here is that university football has something to do with university students. Like, the university is giving students this incredible experience – Adzillatrons shrieking ads at them, drunks with guns, I dunno, but IT’S TEXAS for god’s sake where up north a tad from Houston they spent sixty mill on a high school football stadium that has never been used because of structural flaws and no one seems to mind about that! Build another one!

So what’ll coach do? Bring in the Attorney General! But no – the AG’s a Baylor man, and anyways he’s gonna be (cough) a little too busy to deliver a spanking to the many thousands of Oppositional Defiant Disorder sufferers on the UH campus…

UD thinks the best idea is to perform pre-frontal lobotomies on the noncompliant students. Of course they would have to be sedated first because no one is going to want one. They’ve all read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. But the lobes are coach’s main enemy here, and the medical school is just sitting there.

UD proposes this tag: A half-empty stadium: Unacceptable. A half-empty brain: Acceptable.

The reality is that UH would only have to perform one, maybe two, for students to get the message.

… Ann Arbor resident Joshua Wade [openly carried a gun] to his little sister’s choir concert…

… Infantry.