Many are the reasons Americans need firearms.

… is trashy enough.”

 [O]fficers from the Myrtle Beach Police Department observed an individual in a vehicle brandishing a firearm while traveling near the … demonstration.

Another one.

“And that’s just the ones they caught,” Mr UD points out.

Or so they say. Easier to hear them while you walk the boardwalk, where last night a guy was shot to death.

Murder Beach. The sort of resort you get when everyone has a gun.

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Voice of the people, some of whom sagely point out that plenty of other American locations are bloodbaths so why pick on Dirty Myrtle. Others note that many of the killers are out of towners, as if this makes any difference.

One guy uploads a film he took while slowly driving along the main tourist drag on a bright warm day recently. Pretty much no one there. Dangerous/threatening afternoon and evening. Curfews are no solution.

And here’s how you get to Myrtle Beach:

South Carolina has weak gun laws—missing the vast majority of the 50 key policies—and suffers one of the highest rates of gun homicides in the nation. Despite lending the name of its largest city to the gap in federal law that allows gun sales to go through while a background check is still underway, South Carolina has still not closed the Charleston Loophole that armed the mass shooter who attacked worshipers at the Emanuel AME Church in 2015. Lawmakers in 2024 repealed the state’s concealed carry permit requirement, allowing people to carry loaded firearms in public with no training or background check.

And July 4 is just around the corner!

I can’t do justice to this story, which makes the Murdaugh thing – three hours away in the same great state of South Carolina – look like small potatoes. Pretty girl done shot her ex in cold blood — and I mean like really cold like she just sat there at her trial and it took the jury less than two hours to convict her cuz in broad daylight with her coroner bf she jest drove over to the victim’s place took out her gun and blasted and blasted til he were daid daid daid. Fuck the four kids they had together.

What makes this one amazing is the killer and her bf work as coroners/body transporters! They make a living driving all over Horry County picking up people after they die. (Headline, Independent: “A coroner and his mistress met while moving corpses.”) Body calls, death calls, removal technicians, the language is rich indeed and so is the aspect of the thing where after they did the guy they just shoved his bloody bod in the same van in which they trundle all over town all day waiting for the body call. Expertly they bound him but instead of the funeral home or hospital they dumped him in the Little Pee Dee River. Could that name be any cuter?

A lot more good shit in this one. I can’t keep up with it, as I said, and W Faulkner and A Rice are dead, and J Berendt’s 85, and who else is equal to this multilayered deep south squalidity? The trial “consisted solely of witnesses called by the prosecution,” cuz why bother man. Her daughter trembled and wept through the most grotesque testimony about one’s mother – any mother – imaginable, and then wrote this eloquent victim statement.

This crime has torn apart my family, others’ families and friends beyond any measure. My siblings and I have all suffered greatly, not only from the loss of my father but the loss of a mother, too. This trial and getting up on the stand has been one of the most heartbreaking and painful things I’ve ever had to do. It has also been one of the most relieving and rewarding things. I finally got to say what has been sitting in my brain the last four and a half years.

Sitting in my brain is very good.

Or twenty miles north; I’m figuring the local shooters moved this weekend’s fun away from Murder Beach proper cuz it’s crawling with cops.

This distance from the boardwalk, they were free to shoot eleven people. An impressive number, even by American standards.

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UPDATE: Happened on a party boat! Did people jump into the water? And eleven shot because it’s hard to run away when you’re drunk, high, and on a boat.

Police are searching for “a motive.” Hm, hm, what could it be. Cram a bunch of drunks, several of whom are armed, on a boat. Motive would be, you know, someone pushed someone aside while reeling around trying not to fall over. BANGBANGBANG

ANOTHER UPDATE: When you go to Facebook, you get all kinds of video and commentary. Some say it was an argument. Some say it was a hate crime. Some say some people drowned. We’ll see.

AND ANOTHER: For all the fervid imaginings of Facebookers, it sounds as though our latest mass shooting was exactly what you’d expect: Too many drunk/high assholes packed into a closed space. Someone always seems to get pissed off (or just pissed) and start shooting everybody.

“Just seeing people hit the ground and taking cover and, I took cover and balled up like a hamster, so fearing for my safety but thankful I’m still alive and okay,” [a beachgoer] said.

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The reasons why.

Read my blog’s intermittent coverage of bloody Myrtle Beach to get a sense of its astounding gun violence. Even if it doesn’t end in your curling up like a hamster, the action on the beachfront features lots of large, dangerous, fights.

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Some people like a challenge:

“There’s trouble all over the world, we can’t control that. So we just have to come and not let fear spoil our vacation. We still come here to enjoy the sights, enjoy the views, so I don’t feel threatened at all,” [one visitor] said. “I’ve been coming here for years. I’ll still come.”

Hey, if that’s how he feels, he should vacation in Haiti – much cheaper, and spectacular scenery.

We hear also from a local politician:

“It’s very unfortunate that people feel they need to solve their problems with guns but it’s an isolated incident and not indicative of the reality that most Myrtle Beach visitors encounter.”

Hon, ‘isolated’ don’t earn you Fifth Deadliest Beach …

Where else? It’s long been one of America’s most twisted locations. Nothing surprising here.

Shooting pledges with air guns, making them eat butter with dirt on it and making them drink bong water led to a Coastal Carolina University fraternity’s five-year suspension … [A] first-year student pledging the fraternity was injured after being shot multiple times with an air gun as part of the group’s initiation process… [He] was shot twice in the head, twice in the stomach and multiple times in the back… [The] student sought medical attention in the following days for headaches and hearing difficulty… Shortly after, he received texts from some of the fraternity members, including one who allegedly told him to “keep the frat’s name out of your mouth,” according to the report. The pledge withdrew from the university on Jan. 9, 2023, for medical reasons.

Make next year’s reservations now.

Latest headline:

Three shootings in 8 hours. Eight wounded. Some tourists say they won’t be back.

Others, however – bikers, boozers, gunnies – are beginning to think their usual vacation spot – Panama City Beach – lacks the je ne sais quoi of the pride of South Carolina.

Ladies, UD can’t think of a more perfect synergy than taking your semesters at rape-friendly Baylor (located in biker-friendly Waco) and your semester breaks at pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-POPPIN’!!! (watch that way-viral video NOW – start at 1:44 to go RIGHT to the fun stuff – for the amazing spray of bullets!) Myrtle Beach.

Or you could skip the long trip and just attend Coastal Carolina University.

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“We’re gonna send a message to do everything that’s humanly possible to stop this violence in our city,” [the city’s Mayor] said.

But you’re not going to, are you? Because the simple stuff you have to do in order to stop attracting large numbers of violent criminals to your beach involves getting merchants to stop pandering to them. But this is America, and we don’t fuck with the free market.

“[A] multitude of ads [in Myrtle Beach] tout the excitement of shooting machine guns in nearby Conway…”

The thing you do, which is turn the city into a police state during the warm months, doesn’t seem to be interrupting the flow of bullets.

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WOW! Myrtle Beach managed to find time to squeeze in a fourth shooting on Sunday night!

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SUPER wow! A fifth one!!

After a fifth shooting Monday night, Gov. Henry McMaster also asked State Law Enforcement Division Chief Mark Keel to meet with local law enforcement and address the spate of violence.

With five, you get a concerned governor thrown in.

The focus on 2025 Ocean Boulevard shootings [in Myrtle Beach] began on April 26th when 11 people were sent to the hospital in a police officer involved incident where the juvenile who fired into a crowd was killed.

Several Ocean Boulevard shootings on successive weekends have happened since. Day trippers from towns approximately 100 miles in circumference to Myrtle Beach cause much of the violence … downtown on Ocean Boulevard.

Unsupervised teenagers ranging from 16 to 18 carry guns with them to the beach. Despite the pattern, Myrtle Beach police have yet to come up with a system for dealing with these unsupervised teens before the violence begins.

SC does not have truancy laws enabling MBPD to detain unsupervised juveniles until their parents retrieve them. Even when they identify potential violent teens, their hands are tied until the shootings start.

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Can this really be? A police force can’t detain suspicious people? They have to stand there waiting for them to start shooting?

So far it’s just middling spring stuff – Saturday night fights/shootings, killing one or two, injuring ten or twenty – but come July the gunfire’s gonna be SIZZLING.

Not just on the weekends, and much more productive body bag work – that’s what I’m talking about.

Bring the kids, bring granny – you’re never too old or too young to run screaming for your life and the lives of your loved ones while hundreds of gunshots pierce the balmy air. Get ready.

Myrtle Beach SC. SC! Murdaughland! Guns à Gogo!

[M]ultiple people were injured and one … killed [last night on a main boardwalk thoroughfare]. … [P]eople described taking shelter in their hotel rooms and inside businesses during the shooting and after.

Myrtle Beach Police observed a disturbance involving multiple people in the 900 block of North Ocean Boulevard … During the altercation, one person began firing a weapon. [A police officer] responded by discharging their firearm…

Exchange of fire! Rumble! Melee in Myrtle! Run for your life!

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This is how you get “one of the highest rates of gun homicides in the nation.”

Here’s a bit of video from the boardwalk at Ocean City, Maryland, where, faithful readers know, UD has deep roots.

The only thing separating Ocean City, at this point, from Beach Blanket Bloodbath Myrtle Beach, SC, is that for some reason no one at this latest event has a gun. Someone always has a gun during brawls in Myrtle Beach.

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The reason these particular beaches are singled out for gang violence? Too simple. If you build it, they will come. Look at the sorts of commercial establishments that dominate these towns. And there’s too much money and political power on the line to change that. Note that no police appear at any point in the video.

… beachy municipalities with wall to wall bars and little law enforcement attract really big vicious crowds. As one traditional spring break town after another says enough to the carnage, larger and larger groups of drunk fucks concentrate in smaller and smaller spaces, to the point where South Beach, and the handful of other still-certified SB locations, are absolutely choked with traffic jams police stops drugs guns fights biker gangs and open-air rapes for as long as two months. Residents seem to think this isn’t the best way to welcome in the spring, and even the merchants who in the past haven’t minded the grossness because it brings in so much cash have begun to respond to the city council’s pleas that they close up early or stop feeding infinite liquor to everyone who shows up or whatever.

UD wonders, though. Bestiality will have its way, and our enterprising country should be able to produce one or two cities/towns willing to make a name for themselves as crapulous destinations of last resort. I’m putting my money on Myrtle Beach.