An eight year old with a loaded handgun. Big deal. The six year old in Newport News didn’t just smuggle in a loaded handgun — he shot his teacher with it! Maybe Grand Rapids is eyeing the forty million dollar lawsuit she’s filed against the N.N. school district; maybe Grand Rapids figures if it’s caught four handguns it’s almost certainly failed to catch another twenty or so.

Whatever. It has made the right call by banning backpacks: As UD has been saying, our public schools are currently living in a fool’s paradise, and until they look like armed camps they’re asking for a bloodbath. Guns are all over the schools; and of course they’re all over the schools’ surrounding communities. Inside and out, everyone’s a target, and as the wee Nashville massacrist demonstrated (using the same technique as the wee Sandy Hook guy), all you have to do is shoot out windows to get into a locked building. Which means the schools might want to take a look, first of all, at their windows. The safest schools won’t have windows at all (don’t laugh: did you think we’d see the end of backpacks?) but will look like the medieval fortresses they now need to be. Adding to the pre-modern feel will be a general arming of teachers and administrators, all of whom will now be able to solve work squabbles via shootouts.

And you know what? We’re going to see a large rise in home schooling — motivated not by any particular ideology, but simply by a desire to see your kid not be eviscerated by an AR-15. I mean, broadly speaking, the saturation of public life by guns means the end of public life – public schools, public shopping malls, public libraries – too dangerous. America is already overrun by gated communities with extensive private security. Get ready to see much, much more of that.

 “He’s off the wall. Doesn’t sit still, ever,” says the mother of the violent six-year-old who routinely beat up his fellow public school students and, as a special treat, took out the gun his mother had left lying around and shot his teacher because “he felt like he was being ignored.”

UD trusts that those parents who can are removing their kids from a system run by idiots. As for the others – tell your kid to keep her head down. And pray.

Here’s a primer on it. The Newport News six year old who almost killed his elementary school teacher last week failed in his mission simply because he had to use some random pistol his parents had lying around the house for him. It’s true that his teacher’s mental health has been permanently shattered; plus since surgeons had to leave the slug in her, the student has the satisfaction of having left a permanent souvenir inside his teacher’s body. But killing her – and everyone else in the room, like the better-equipped boys at Columbine – eluded him because of his primitive weaponry. The JR-15 is the solution to all of these problems.

But the deep state can’t keep its hands off of the gun. Big news conference today where demo-rats called the gun disgusting and sick and grotesque and unconscionable blahblah. Blahblahblah.

Oh, so now just because there’s been a third school shooting, you’re gonna throw him out?

On Tuesday, the Newport News School Board posted an agenda for a special meeting on Wednesday, saying it will vote on a separation agreement and severance package for Superintendent George Parker III. 

It’s not his fault the third shooter was six years old! That sort of thing gets global attention. The last two were teenagers, and that’s so routine it never makes much of a mark. If he’d been able to isolate the bloodbath to junior high and high school all would have been well. Give the guy a break and hope the killing goes back where it belongs – to the upper grades, among more mature and competent marksmen.

*********************

Meanwhile, if they do fire the dude, he’ll get an enormous severance for keeping his trap shut about all the other violent and nonviolent scandals in the school system; plus, there are TONS of public school abattoirs (start with the Baton Rouge public schools!) where Parker’s bloody ways will fit right in. Don’t worry about Parker. Wave of the bloody future.

Ready?

1. Neighbors and the rest of us are not allowed to know who the would-be killer is. Police refuse to release his name. Or the names of his parents. So a lot of people remain at risk. Why are the police doing this?
2. The school claims someone there checked the child’s backpack the morning he almost killed his teacher but they found no gun. They checked the backpack because the child is a known psychotic about whom teachers have been desperately complaining for a long time. A six year old’s backpack is very small. How do you open such a backpack and find no gun?
3. The child is so sick that an arrangement had apparently been worked out that every day he’s in school one of his parents will be physically with him at all times. Can this be true? If so, did one of the parents hand him the gun? As, you know, a form of therapy? Now hon here’s a gun I want you to show me that I can trust you with it…
4. Teachers and parents describe an endemically violent school system in Newport News Virginia. They say principals and the superintendent don’t care, and in fact care only about maintaining their enrollment numbers, which would decrease if they removed all the students carrying guns and trying to kill everyone.
5. Where is the massacrist-to-be? Back in class? Tracking a six year old killer would seem a good thing to do, but we’re not allowed to know where he is.
6. Why haven’t charges been filed against the parents? They let the kid have a loaded gun, and judging by his marksmanship they’ve been letting that happen quite a lot. Doesn’t America have laws against that?

… involved a six-year-old obviously disturbed kid who almost killed but only badly wounded his teacher (she’s suing the school board for forty million dollars, but details of the virtually criminal neglect on the part of administrators suggest she should sue for sixty million) … Wounded, she still managed to save all the children in the room from the shooter.

Do you remember this case? I know all them massacres in Nashville and Louisville are crowding out your memory of this one and hundreds of others. But you probably remember this one because six-year-old gun-bearing would-be murderers are – even in this country, where the blood comes sweepin’ down the plain, pretty fucking amazing.

So, the latest is that, following in the footsteps of the bone-chilling Crumbleys, the woman who birthed this severely mentally ill little boy and left her gun lying around for him to take to school, has been indicted by a Newport News grand jury.

That’s very good news; but in both cases – and the tons of others on their way – we must send these people, once found guilty, to prison.

****************************

From the wonderful family that brought you Alex Murdaugh on down, oodles of American assholes are currently leaving loaded guns all over the place. When their one year olds find them and kill their two year olds it barely makes the news, cuz it happens all the time. The babes need to shoot up a school to get our attention.

But they still don’t have our attention. Not sose you’d notice.

From prison, the Crumbleys and Deja Taylor need to be incentivized to star in a joint public service announcement, in which, sadder but wiser, they encourage other Americans to lock their guns and put them away.

I mean this morning. The day is young.

Get used to these sorts of statements.

“Three pediatric patients were transported to Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt, all having suffered gunshot wounds. All three were pronounced dead after arrival,” officials said.

*************

Got two adults too. Will the number rise? Injured?

And let’s play that game where we try to figure out just what precise sort of well-known lunatic gun obsessive did it. Ready?

So, the school was pre-school to grade six. We can go the Newport News shooting way and say it was a demented 5th or 6th grader. We can go the Sandy Hook way and say it was a demented former student in his twenties. We know the shooter was male, and we know he was young, and we know he was insane, and we know people knew he was insane. I mean, we don’t actually know anything at all yet, but we can be pretty sure of these things. He probably lived with his parents, who made multiple guns freely available to him. He probably practiced shooting in the backyard and annoyed and frightened the neighbors.

*****************

Another one. Three adults dead.

I’m going to guess the shooter entered a classroom or a pre-school room and killed the adults first to keep them from trying to save the children, and then went after the children. We can expect the numbers of fatalities/injuries to rise.

******************

Wow. I was wrong. Shooter was a female teenager.

School was one of many which has not yet realized it is an armed camp and must begin to look like one. And getta load of the weaponry!

The suspect entered the school through a side entrance and was armed with at least two assault-type rifles and a handgun.

Everyone needs a role model. Hers was Stephen Paddock. It takes a heap o’ AK-47s to make a real Dead Zone!

How the fuck do you carry that much weaponry on you? She must have had a couple of suitcases and a backpack.

And now America’s demented gunny girls who’ve been itching to kill five year olds but lacked the courage will take heart from this now-famous massacrist and start planning.

*******************

The shooter was 28 years old.

*******************

Authorities clearly know who she is, but aren’t saying until they deal with her family, plus make sure she didn’t dispatch a few people she knew before slaughtering strangers. Popular objects of pre-massacre attention include parents, roommates, ex-spouses, and psychiatrists.

******************

She was a former student. Adam Lanza playbook.

It’ll be real fun finding out how someone that insane got hold of all that weaponry.

We know how Lanza got his: Gifts from Mom. Who he shot four times with a.22-calibre rifle on his way to Sandy Hook. Let’s see how this killer got hers.

And I mean. If you’re looking for patterns. Kip Kinkel shot his parents to death just before he killed two and wounded 25 at his high school.

Yeah what the hell. On any given middle or high school day in Albuquerque, you figure there are maybe twenty guns in backpacks or in administrative offices or whatever, around the school system… Students and staff bring them onto campus for… whatever stupid reason! It’s certainly not our job to figure out why the children of New Mexico are menaced with death in the location that ought to be safest. What we can say is that the reasons are … whatever. Stupid.

**************

Today’s butcher’s bill. And this one’s just like the one in Newport News – both involved shooters so well known as incredibly dangerous that both schools had elaborate security arrangements just for them. Today’s for instance had to be patted down every time he entered the building; and this time while being patted down he pulled out his gun and started shooting.

Uh.

Duh.

Why is a public school system putting itself and all its children directly in the line of fire? What twisted “retention” philosophy (beyond the cynical financial one) is in play here? You designate a bunch of untrained victims-to-be to surveil, pat down, and discipline determined killers, so that… ?

So that you get dead people, wounded people, and WHOPPING lawsuits.

********************

Update: The shooter killed himself.

The shooting is the 83rd shooting on a K-12 school campus this calendar year.

Although Scathing Online Schoolmarm is eager to introduce the Toscano Law Group, Newport News, to the semi-colon (there’s no problem with the sentence I’ve quoted in my headline, but throughout the letter the absence of the semi-colon is a problem), she nonetheless acknowledges that, effective-exposition-wise, its extended letter about the public elementary school system, to which you entrust your little ones every day, rocks.

You begin to understand homeschooling when you read about daily life at Richneck Elementary School. When your six year old tyke’s classmates aren’t smacking at/spitting on the teacher, they’re on the playground fingering their Glocks. Put aside curricular questions; your family definitely stands a better chance of not being reduced to multiple quivering mounds of blood if you stay locked in your house.

The key to transforming your school to Lord of the Flies With Firearms is the school’s administrative team. Without a strong shared commitment to violence among the principals and vice-principals you are getting nowhere in terms of mass slaughter.

************************

Violent cultures make violent toddlers, so for optimal school slaughter you also need a critical mass of parents who leave loaded guns lying all over the house, the way the Richneck shooter’s parents did.

Do you think, knowing all too well they had a psychotic would-be killer on their hands, these parents were “negligent”? How many guns do you think they had at home — again, knowing their kid wanted to kill? Ten? Twenty?

Babe, it’s not negligence, is it? Nor is it negligence when an assistant principal rejects desperate begging from multiple teachers and students that she check a psychotically violent student for weapons.

Let’s call it what it is.

Large swathes of the country are shooting off guns all the time. They like to. It’s exciting and satisfying, as America’s finest news source reminds us. American flag pins in Congress have been replaced by AR-15 pins. From the highest to the lowest forms of civic life in this country, guns are everything. They are everywhere. You’re a bloody fool (literally) if you don’t know this and begin to act accordingly.

They don’t really mean we have psychotics who mass murder. We do indeed have these; but other countries do too. UD thinks that what distinguishes the United States is that we have violent people running many of our institutions. We have violent local governments; we have violent school boards.

Let’s not talk about our obscenely violent last president and his barbarians. That’s too easy. Let’s move further down.

Very few countries on earth produce people like Chesa Boudin.

Very few produce people like George Parker, a school superintendent who packs his schools with kiddie psychopaths.

Sure, when six year olds take out their loaded guns in class and expertly shoot their teachers in the chest, George figures he’s gonna have to handle a certain amount of incoming. Like Boudin, he will explain – but not in so many words! – to parents and teachers and kids that some population is going to have to be the sacrificial location where okay a few parents and teachers and kids will be killed but it’s in the service of helping the unfortunate among us and I mean did you know that very few homeless schizophrenics (see Boudin) and psychotic six year olds who live in houses with unsecured guns are homicidal? RELAX. I mean, do the numbers. It’s not gonna happen every day that these people attack your children and their teachers. Y’all are probably gonna be okay. And even if they do attack …

During a three-hour school board meeting dedicated solely to public comment, Newport News teachers and parents said students who assaulted classmates and staff were routinely allowed to stay in the classroom with few consequences. They said the shooting of Abigail Zwerner could have been prevented if not for a toxic environment in which teachers’ concerns are systemically ignored.

“Every day in every one of our schools, teachers, students and other staff members are being hurt,” high school librarian Nicole Cooke told the board. “Every day, they’re hit. They’re bitten. They’re beaten. And they’re allowed to stay so that our [enrollment] numbers look good.”

They’re running some of our schools and local governments. In response, “Many parents are propelled into politics through service on school boards after seeing the [violent] state of their kids’ schools.”

Letting dangerous people deteriorate on the streets and in our schools is not a policy. It’s a nihilism, a degeneracy. A mental violence. You either replace these people and these structures or you run as far away as possible.

***************************

The choices our government makes affect our kids, taxes, schools, roads and lives. They are in the hands of the people we elect — but who we pick is constrained by those willing to run. Our democracy is dodging bullets [released by threatening, violent, gun-obsessed people running in and winning American elections]. We will not be able to do so forever.

Bang.