Andy Hutchins congratulates the University of New Mexico.

Another year with Mike for the University of New Mexico.

Background on Mike Locksley, $750,000 a year UNM football coach, here.

Can’t win a game, but sure as hell can throw a punch.

And, you know, there’s losing and there’s losing. Mike does it with panache. First game of the season, Oregon 72, Lobos nada.

Dave Schmidly’s still president too!

… and now this. Things are getting seriously weird at the University of New Mexico.

From a comment on a UNM Daily Lobo story about a sadomasochistic sex worker in the creative writing department:

I propose a no-holds-barred celebrity duel between Mike “Suckerpunch” Locksley and Lisa “Mistress Jade” Chavez to be held in Smith Plaza next Friday at high noon – 15 rounds or until one of our UNM celebrities can fight no longer – tickets will be sold to the public and all proceeds will go to settle lawsuits against UNM resulting from the earlier escapades of “Suckerpunch” and “Mistress Jade” – Come one, come all – see the show of a lifetime – and shake hands with the man who brought you the whole thing, Ringmaster David Schmidly!!!

Now that its quarterback has been filmed calling a woman over to his car and telling her to help him finish masturbating, UNM – one of this blog’s venerable favorites – is in the news again. UD has long argued that a state as corrupt and fiercely anti-intellectual as New Mexico should give up on the whole public university thing, with its Dave Schmidlys and Mike Locksleys and a host of others running this hopelessly shabby show. But on it goes; the curtain … or whatever … keeps going up…

… to Mike Locksley’s tenure as University of New Mexico football coach:

That was October 2009. Here’s a more recent version:

Locksley’s stint at New Mexico could not have gone much more poorly. He was 2-26, fired in September 2011 after an 0-4 start to his third season. The Lobos finished 113th and 116th nationally in scoring in his two full seasons, both of which ended at 1-11. Off the field, it was just as bad. Locksley was accused of sexual discrimination by a former administrative assistant in a lawsuit resolved out of court. And he missed one game in 2009 to serve a suspension for his involvement in an altercation with assistant coach J.B. Gerard. His final game at UNM, a 48-45 loss to FCS-level Sam Houston State, was played before an announced crowd of 16,313, the Lobos’ smallest since 1992, and came in the wake of a DWI arrest of a 19-year family friend who was driving a car registered to the coach’s wife and son.

Okay, so UD is proud and excited to announce that Locksley will now be Mr UD’s coach! Yes, Locksley’s the new coach at the University of Maryland, and Mr UD will be part of his faculty cheering squad!!

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More commentary on the exciting changes at the University of Maryland here.

It’s a far less interesting place without the legendary Schmidly/Locksley partnership (read these posts if you haven’t just eaten); but, you know…

The shadow of your smile
When you are gone
Will color all my dreams…

The Locksley buyout and various Schmidly initiatives are gifts that keep giving… And of course when it comes to athletics in particular UNM continues really, really sordid, and things get worse and worse. Let’s quote a bit from a recent article:

In one of the poorest states in the nation, can UNM, which has only one of its 21 intercollegiate sports teams (men’s basketball) turning a profit each fiscal year, justify receiving well more than $2 million per year in state subsidies for athletics? Can it justify student fees totaling $4 million, a figure that has more than doubled in the past two years despite the objections of student representatives on campus?

The new Schmidly says uh I dunno… bad situation I guess but can’t do nuthin…

“The debt service continues to be a challenge for us,” [the athletic director] said, referring to paying down the $60 million renovation of the Pit four years ago. “The financial model was predicated on a naming gift…”

The perfectly named Pit is the basketball stadium. The morons who run UNM promised up and down they’d get some bank or pizza parlor to buy naming rights, only it didn’t happen…

I mean, the financial model?? What a great way to put it. This might be more accurate: I and the idiots with whom I play golf figured we might get the funding if we told everyone…

UNM students paid $1.9 million in fees for athletics in 2011-12, with a majority earmarked at covering the costs of student admission to sporting events.

Then, despite the objections of undergraduate and graduate student representatives, came significant increases in those fees. In 2012-13 the students paid $3.2 million and that figure was right at $4 million this past year (2013-14).

“Student fees have been a godsend for us the last couple years. But we, historically, have been on the real low end, and now we’re probably right in the middle,” Krebs said. “But I think there’s a limit to what you can put on the backs of the students.”

In 2012-13, six of the 10 other schools in the Mountain West Conference received more money from student fees than did UNM, as did nearby regional schools New Mexico State University and UTEP.

“I don’t see a huge increase in the student participation around fees, but I do think some nominal increases are probably in their future,” Frank said. “How fast and how much is something we’ll talk to the students about.”

The last fees went up without any talking to anyone. Students objected to them and the school said fuck you. Clearly student fees in years to come will be predicated on the same financial model.

[University of New Mexico] Athletic Director Paul Krebs said the business model for the rebuild of The Pit two years ago, which cost about $45 million, was “predicated on a naming gift for The Pit.”

Apparently the Pit, UNM’s basketball arena, actually cost 60 rather than 45 million, but I guess the cost was predicated on being 45 million… Just like the renovation itself was predicated on a rich person offering 10 million dollars so that this person’s family or business name would be on the stadium…

Unlike Florida Atlantic University, which did score a rich namer (a local prison company) for its stadium (whoops – FAU had to turn down the gift because of outrage over the perceived sleaziness of that prison business… FAU’s disgraced president resigned… and since then, no other namer has come forward, so the school is hemorrhaging money…), UNM hasn’t gotten one bite. Even though it spent 60 million dollars on the basis of a promise – a predication – that a naming gift would be forthcoming.

No problem, however. Tuition and fees will rise, and faculty salaries will remain flat, so that this unpredicated outcome can be handled.

Luckily, UNM students and faculty are accustomed to the peculiarly expensive nothingness of la vie UNM. They’re already paying for an empty baseball stadium. There are all sorts of ongoing monetary and other costs related to the latest batch of unpleasant coaching departures (Alford, Locksley). Everyone at UNM seems willing to remain eternally poor and stupid — predicated on sports.

Ho hum, guys are dumb.

Then there’s “the $500,000 in guaranteed annual compensation that Maryland is paying its new offensive coordinator, Mike Locksley.”

Locksley! The beautiful Mike Locksley! How degraded can a university get?

… the University of New Mexico, has finally fired football coach Mike Locksley. Can’t win a game; does all sorts of embarrassing shit when not losing games.

Why did it take them so long?

After New Mexico completed another 1-11 season last year, the Lobos decided to retain him — in part because they could not afford the $1.4 million buyout to his contract.

But take heart, UNM. Dave Schmidly is still president!

… never lets up.

The University of New Mexico’s David Schmidly’s a ball o’ fire, leaping from nepotism to bid rigging allegations to faculty no confidence votes to the retention of violent football coaches to athletic directors who were allegedly in on the alleged bid rig to… nepotism again. (UD‘s Schmidly posts are plentiful. Go to it.)

President Schmidly tried to give his son Brian a $90,000 job at UNM, but public outrage made it impossible. Then – a lawsuit claims – he got him a job at the grateful company that got the rigged bid for UNM’s basketball arena renovation.

I used to predict that Schmidly would be pushed out, pretty soon, at UNM. He’s so supremely, comprehensively, bad. But just as UNM won’t get rid of Coach Locksley, it won’t get rid of Schmidly. Why? Got me.

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Update: Schmidly rides again.

… no one else comes close to the University of New Mexico.

Its president is a nepotistic nullity.

Its football coach likes to lose games and beat up people.

Everyone’s tried to get rid of the president every which way, but the governor and legislature can’t get enough of the guy.

UNM will also keep the coach on, rumor has it, because “UNM’s Board of Regents, the state of New Mexico and the athletic department’s private fundraising Lobo Club is unwilling to provide the $1.46 million to buy Locksley out of a contract that runs through 2014.”

They’re already paying through the teeth on contract buyouts for three other coaches.

Plus:

This year’s average attendance will likely be the lowest since 1992. The school’s ticket revenue projection is down over a million dollars over the last two years yet it will cost the University about $1.4 million to buyout the remainder of his contract.

All UD can say is Choose your state well. You’re free, in the United States, to move unaccosted from state to state, putting down roots, attending school, and working, where you prefer. Occasionally, you’re trapped; I understand that. But in most cases you do not have to go to a public university in Nevada, New Mexico, Alaska, or Hawaii — all states where there is simply no good option if you’re serious, or even semi-serious, about an education.

Don’t wait for UNM to change. Go away.

… brain dead. She now officially declares the University of New Mexico brain dead.

Cerebral function slowed badly beginning in 2007, with the hiring of President Dave Schmidly; it deteriorated further a year later, with football coach Mike Locksley.

Surviving on-campus synapses were beaten to a pulp by Mistress Jade.

Doug Fields said this last May when he resigned as president of the University of New Mexico faculty senate. He, like many other UNM professors, was protesting the wretched management of the university by its president, David Schmidly (long history here).

And he meant that thing about leaving. This article describes graduate students taking over much of the teaching, especially in math and physics, which have recently lost 25 professors “to higher salaries at other universities,” says the deputy provost. He doesn’t mention the no-confidence vote against Schmidly, the many sports scandals over which he has presided, his effort to give his son a high-paying job at UNM, etc., etc.

Several classes are being canceled as well.

Although it’s hard to confirm this from where UD‘s sitting, it does look as though an exodus of UNM faculty is underway. They’ve still got Mike Locksley, though.

… drags its ass from one scandal to the next, subsidizing the wretched spectacle with your tuition money, what can you do?

Not much.

But all praise to the grad students at the University of New Mexico, who held a special election:

GPSA’s special election about the UNM Athletics Administration saw a record turnout, and all four questions on the ballot passed by margins of at least 30 percent.

“This is an unprecedented number,” said GPSA President Lissa Knudsen. “It is our belief that GPSA has never had this turnout.”

As for the results, 1,163 students voted in the online election, which is more than twice the turnout of the April GPSA presidential election. Students could select “no opinion” on each question.

More than 1,000 students voted to urge the Board of Regents to divert student fees from Athletics. This was the highest turnout of all the questions. Of those who had an opinion, more than 85 percent of students voted to urge the administration to divert student fees away from the Athletics Department to academic programs.

Also, 81 percent of students who voted said they have no confidence in Athletic Director Paul Krebs’ handing of the Sept. 20 Locksley/Gerald Incident.

Roughly two-thirds of graduate and professional students voted no confidence in Krebs’ overall performance as Athletic Director….

Won’t make any difference. But it’s very important to get it said. The place is a whorehouse, and students have a right not to want to get dirtied by association.