“Oh, no. I can’t [support Grambling football]. No, no, no. If I support them, I condone it.”

Doug Williams

He’s ABD at way-Christian Hillsdale College, and already Baylor, America’s premier Baptist University – the best campus in America for a college student to get shot at, or, if she prefers, merely raped – has hired him to teach kids how their natural God-given rights preclude the wearing of masks during pandemics.

On the first Friday of Baylor’s fall semester, a political science professor refused to wear a mask in at least one of his in-person classes, forcing the university to move the class online…. Three of the four students [Baylor newspaper] The Lariat interviewed claimed that in his first in-person class, [Stephen] Goniprow said that he refused to wear a mask and that because he wasn’t going to, he didn’t expect his students to wear them.

Fuck the state, kids! God made you free, and if you listen closely Jesus is telling you to ditch the mask.

Just as I am, without a mask
To rid my face of this I ask
To thee whose blood can heal disease
O Lamb of God, I sneeze, I sneeze

On the college level, football players were not exempt from sexual assault allegations. Just look at what women suffered at Baylor University as a result of the “institutional failures at every level” under the leadership of Art Briles and then-school president Ken Starr (yeah, that Ken Starr.) One lawsuit alleged that 31 Baylor football players had committed 52 “acts of rape” between 2011 and 2014.

The university has settled several Title IX lawsuits with sexual assault survivors who accused officials of allowing a “rape culture” and failing to properly act against incidents of sexual assault. That included a Baylor volleyball player who alleged she was drugged and raped by at least four football players in 2012.

If I may quote myself.

And damned if we don’t have a tradition. Now comes Hoss Willis (not his real first name, but see if you can watch this tv news report about all the people involved in this latest Baylor University story and not conclude that every one of them should be named Hoss) (as in Hoss) which some guys uh these two guys claim done said bad shit ’bout our womenfolk and plus you know blacks and Jews and all…

UD is curious about one small detail. Pussy singular or pussies plural? Here’s what one attorney charges:

“Willis made [a] comment to the effect ‘the reason Baylor has such highly qualified (black) football players is because Baylor has the best blonde haired, blue-eyed…’ and he used a very bad term relating to the young girls at Baylor.”

I’m thinking pussy singular.

UD also likes the way the news report, whenever it mentions that an investigator flew to France, shows us a picture of the Eiffel Tower with an airplane next to it.

The witty commenters at Deadspin do it again, as Louisiana State University finally dumps professional girlfriend beater, Drake Davis.

But of course it won’t be Baylor that gives him a scholarship, much as that self-righteous institution adores violent men. It’ll be East Central Southern Mississippi All Praise To Our Savior Junior College.

What do you do with a sunken Baylor?
What do you do with a sunken Baylor?
What do you do with a sunken Baylor?
Early in the mornin’

Give it a new coach and a female president
Give it a new coach and a female president
Give it a new coach and a female president
Early in the mornin’

Talk up how we’re absolutely positively Christian
Talk up how we’re absolutely positively Christian
Talk up how we’re absolutely positively Christian
Early in the mornin’

Keep your trap shut about recruiting practices
Keep your trap shut about recruiting practices
Keep your trap shut about recruiting practices
Early in the mornin’

‘Women can feel safe though our players rape them
Women can feel safe though our players rape them
Women can feel safe though our players rape them’
Early in the mornin’

‘It’s just a little sacrifice to give our heroes
It’s just a little sacrifice to give our heroes
It’s just a little sacrifice to give our heroes’
Early in the mornin’

“Perverted little tarts” revisited.

[O]ther emails by [Baylor University regent Buddy] Jones … show him calling the fiercely independent Baylor Alumni Association “terrorists” and enlisting BU administrators in devious schemes to break the BAA… [One wonders] if fellow regents … were aware of such [comments] in closed-door meetings — whether about “tarts” or “terrorists” — and why some might have chosen to tolerate such behavior, given [that] it strikes us as less than Christian, which is what Baylor is supposed to be all about. Indeed, the [Jones] emails attached to [a current] Title IX lawsuit [against Baylor] are from 2009 — and BU regents nonetheless elevated Jones to board chair in 2011.

In honor of its last generation of leaders, Baylor has announced that it has changed both its mascot (a bear) and its motto (Pro Ecclesia, Pro Texana).

New mascot is here.

New motto: Magnae Parvum Nuces Cerebrum (Big Nuts Small Brain)

*************

UD thanks Dame Eleanor Hull for correcting her Latin.

I felt dirty and gross for going to football games or supporting the school; I stopped going to games after my junior year.

****************

When it started to come out, some of my professors would [make] little sacrilegious jokes; they’d say things like “our good Baptist institution,” and there was just a level of acrimony to it.

****************

[T]he law students felt like their law degree was being cheapened by the scandal. It’s frustrating to be tied to a school that’s so obviously misogynistic. A lot of it was us being like, ‘Are you serious? It’s 2015, ‘16, ‘17; it’s an actual joke that people still think we can favor football over the safety of women on campus.’

****************

Football was fun, and it’s not as much fun anymore because it’s like, look at what some members of the football team have been accused of doing. For me there’s also some frustration there because we have a really good product in the education we offer our students, and it’s like, ‘You all tarnished that.’ When people hear ‘Baylor,’ they think about the football team. Our reputation has been tarnished, and it shouldn’t be.

*****************

None of the women interviewed above mentions Waco’s great bar scene, so UD will. Those who think the Twin Peaks shootout was the only opportunity for Baylor women to get shot as well as raped need to know that the fun continues.

When a football player brandished a gun against a female student-athlete, the response again allegedly focused on the victim.

“What a fool—” [football coach Art] Briles texted an assistant coach, according to the court paperwork, “she reporting to authorities.”

Lordy.

And I do mean Lordy.

Here comes this CBS sports writer who dares make himself a national laughingstock by taking seriously the Christianity Baylor University craps on. Way he sees it, if you actually do ask what Jesus would do if he got caught running a rape factory instead of a university, the answer is he’d be so ashamed he’d shut the factory.

The latest lawsuit makes clear

what Baylor football unleashed on its campus and the unfortunate coeds whose lives are permanently damaged. All because an institution meant to teach, nurture and protect them allowed football to be valued over human decency and dignity.

Something about the following account from the suit seems to have disturbed the CBS guy.

According to the suit, the football team had a system of hazing freshman recruits by having them bring freshman females to parties to be drugged and gang-raped, “or in the words of the football players, ‘trains’ would be run on the girls.”

Considered a bonding experience by the players, according to the suit, the rapes also were photographed and videotaped, and the plaintiff confirmed that at least one 21-second videotape of two Baylor students being gang-raped by football players had circulated.

The guy has even thought through how Baylor can get rid of football.

You release every student from their [football] obligations but allow them to retain their scholarships if they want to stay. You help the coaching staff find new jobs and pay them until they do. You weather raging boosters who revolt and direct their money to meaningful causes. You have the courage of your convictions.

******************

What he hasn’t thought through is the got-nowhere-else-to-go problem. Without football, what is Baylor? Not much. That’s why they’re just as desperate right now as that Officer and a Gentleman guy.

Baylor: A criminal enterprise and a noisily self-regarding Christian university.

Rather like Bernard Madoff and Orthodox Judaism.

There’s everything to be said, criminal-enterprise-wise, for a covering of piety.

… standard.

*************

UD thanks Jeff.

UD‘s reading it now.

——–

Well, ol’ UD will already take issue with the article’s sub headline, which has it that alumni and the “authorities” are really angry about Raping Football Players and the Men Who Love Them… But really, given the culture of Baylor (as amply represented by its departing sports ministry guy), are we supposed to buy that? Women are weak vessels and if they find themselves in an unpleasant spot with a man it’s because they forgot their burqa and their Bible. Boys will be boys.

——-

[One of many lawsuits against the school makes] the startling claim that at least 52 rapes by at least 31 players had occurred from 2011 through 2014 — a period when the once-hapless Baylor football program became a dominant force in the highly competitive Big 12 Conference.

Hey. Price of doing business.

Who can blame Baylor for believing that Baptist Propriety for Women would mean the weak vessels would confess their shame to the sports minister and then shut up about it?

Who can blame Baylor for knowing that you want the most aggressive person you can find for your football team?

——-

“Success in athletics means that all cocks rise,” Kenneth W. Starr, then the university’s president, told The Times in 2014.

Haha. I mean “boats.” He said success in athletics means that all boats rise.

——-

Some women on campus will of course gladly sacrifice their virtue for the sake of the team. It is their sacred honor to pleasure recruits. One lawsuit claims

“attractive female students” in the Bruins [a “hostess” program] were expected to ensure that recruits had a good time on campus by, for example, engaging “in sexual acts with the recruits to help secure the recruits’ commitment to Baylor.”

——-

So. Wait now for the academic scandal… Now that the door’s been opened on Baylor University, wait for details about what professors at Baylor were doing (are doing) to keep some players academically eligible.

It Never Rains but it Whores

[Singalong.]

Did y’ever wake up in the morning
And grumble as you tumble out of bed?
Your strength coach arrested — solicitation.
You might lose SAC accreditation.
The school of Ken Starr and Art Briles
Is drowning in lawsuits and trials
Your regents are vile but they won’t do town halls
You’re out of compliance with Big 12 by-laws
Yes, all day long,
Everything you touch goes wrong.

Teacher told us, when this happens, never to whine or wail;
The same things happen at other schools, but on a much smaller scale!

It never rains but what it whores;
If lady luck should happen to desert you,
Some gang rape’s never gonna hurt you,
So wait and the skies will all be blue.

It never rains but what it whores;
So what if all your troubles come in bunches,
Keep sticking to your silly little coaches,
And the sun will come shining through.

Bide your time and keep on hummin’,
Don’t you frown and sit around and weep.
Wait your turn, your day is comin’,
And you’ll be there on top of the heap!

It never rains but what it whores;
You may as well get all your worries over,
From then on you’re gonna be in clover!
Smile when you should cry,
For every cloud there’ll be a rainbow,
There’ll be a sunbeam for every raindrop by and by!

*************************

[UD thanks many readers who have sent her Baylor updates.]