Asked by police if he’d thrown many glass bottles off his spring break rental’s balcony, LSU student Aiden Baker replied “I threw every one of those bottles, every single bit of trash you see out here on the road.”

Florida police arrested him; the witty sheriff released a statement: “Time to geaux!”

Sing it.

Michigan State was happily on its way to bankrupting the school, via massive payments (an almost hundred million dollar ten-year contract extension!) to a football coach who racked up some winning games, when (quoting James Bond) “something big came up.”

Given that as recently as 2018 another Michigan school was out 500 mill because a team doctor also had something come up, you kinda wonder

1.) how does one of America’s not at all rich states keep finding all this dough (and more) in its university sports programs? and

2.) will the state ever realize that hugely expensive degenerates tend to populate American university sports programs at the highest levels? (Tuberville not high-profile enough for you?) Because once you get RID of, say, Tucker, he’s gonna turn around and sue you for hundreds of millions more, the way all of them do when you fire them, for cause or not. Right? Has anyone besides UD been following this history?

As daunting as the remaining two months remaining on the schedule appear, there’s also the potential for a lengthy legal fight with Tucker hinting at his intent to sue the university over the roughly $80 million remaining on his contract. Michigan State doesn’t want to pay a dime and will have to decide if it’s worth absorbing hefty legal fees and headlines continuing to link the school with Tucker or reach a settlement to bring the saga to an end.

3.) can anyone at these institutions of higher learning think about cause and effect? As in, when you suddenly give a hundred million dollar contract to a… not too upstanding person, might that money and power go to his head? Make him think he can get away with anything cuz he’s such hot shit?

Yeah. You kinda wonder why so many American universities are ineducable on the most basic patterns, the most basic matters.

Hours after a mass shooting at one Baton Rouge bar – many of whose patrons come from LSU – an underage sorority member from LSU gets utterly wasted in another Baton Rouge bar, after which she’s gang raped and then fatally hit by a car. Not making this up. That’s how a 19 year old LSU student died.

Of course LSU has a long history of dead and almost dead frat boys; drunk, raped, and dead sorority girls is a new one on me. But you can see the progression that got us here. LSU’s brainless boozing in illegal bars, its sadistic fraternities, plus… what else is there? Football. Plus absolutely no discernable academics, or institutional ethics (an incredibly impoverished and ill-educated state, Louisiana gives tens of millions to LSU’s football team and almost nothing to LSU qua university). That’s about it. It all takes place in Baton Rouge, currently America’s deadliest city, guns going off absolutely everywhere.

The word for all of this is sleaze, mes petites; and if you really think this is the right college environment for your teenager, go for it.

… “stunned”?

Beautiful weather, a low cost of living and gorgeous natural surroundings haven’t stopped Louisiana’s capital city from making it big in the world of crime and murder. Baton Rouge has outdone the rest of the state, which is [itself] 40 percent more violent than the nation as a whole. New Orleans is more popular, so Baton Rouge seized the opportunity to top the violent crime list. Baton Rouge isn’t a very large city, but it manages to attract attention by having 49 murders annually. If you have a death wish, it’s a great destination.

Why would you send your kid to school there?

All three players were suspended indefinitely by [Louisiana State University football coach Les] Miles, who is no longer waiting to suspend players as much as he once did when he used that aggravating coach catchphrase – “We’re going to let the legal system play out.” Of course, Miles has had more than a dozen players arrested on various charges since 2010 alone. So he knows the drill.

Absolutely. UD has said it for years – in the United States, you don’t need a university to have a university football team. Several American universities already are, for most purposes, football teams. Their presidents are their six million dollar a year coaches. Their trustees are ex-football players or football boosters.

So she’d suggest posing the question about the possible bankruptcy of Louisiana State University like this:

If there is no football team, would the school be able to field a fall semester?

And, you know, if sports factories can’t “connect with students when they’re on campus — when they’re a walk away from going to one of the best football games in the country every Saturday, for free — how are they going to be able to do that when these kids are in their 30s and 40s and 50s and they become the next generation of donors and boosters …?”

Yeah, bummer, and it keeps the AD and the coach up at night so you’re going to have to increase their salaries by a million dollars a year because this is like a whole new thing they didn’t sign up for. Who knew that teams mainly composed of fake students and thugs playing in an enormous half empty stadium whose shrieking Adzillatron cannot be escaped might fail to attract fans? Don’t university students enjoy sitting around endlessly while waiting for the ads on the television stations airing the game to finish? Oh, but while they wait they can watch their very own endless ads on the inescapable Adzillatron, featuring some local fuckhead selling mattresses! Where do I sign up?

Why don’t students enjoy being associated with prisons? Doesn’t that add to the wonderful energy of game day? What is wrong with these people?

Body of article:

[One LSU student and] many of her friends skipped the game to study for midterms that started Monday.

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Well, now at least we know what the problem is.

Solution: Stop giving midterms.

… I don’t buy the belief at [Louisiana State University] and elsewhere that athletics serve as the front porch of a university, drawing attention to the academic kitchen. It is a hopeful sentiment, but I don’t see any supporting evidence. In fact, the opposite seems to be true.

Football does not appear to provide an open window but rather a closed shade, reinforcing L.S.U.’s athletic standing while secluding its academic reputation, however inadvertently. In my travels, I cannot remember a single person outside of Louisiana knowing or mentioning that L.S.U. aspires to be as competitive in the classroom as on the football field.

Pennsylvania State University [will close] seven campuses due to financial constraints, while Louisiana State University [has] implemented a hiring freeze and other cost-cutting measures.

[B]oth institutions [recently] fired their head football coaches. Penn State [paid] more than $45 million to make head coach James Franklin go away … LSU fired Brian Kelly [and] gave him a buyout of $54 million.

Bullets are in the air as our universities (most recently, Lincoln and Howard) do homecoming the American way.

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This guy thinks you should separate the warring factions. Ain’t gonna happen. Schools like LSU are very little other than football/tailgating/drinking/shooting. Folks aren’t gonna like it if you interfere.

If they’re killing/injuring twenty people every weekend in bars and at big public events, why go there? It isn’t news if it’s just routine.

I mean, local coverage, sure; but why should the NYT waste its time on something as common as the common cold? UD doesn’t think you should reward states with no gun laws by paying attention to them. Their political class has created a wasteland, which is certainly a mark of shame for our country. But we’ve established these facts. The rest is just one vile stupid slaughter after another.

Now UD is a different matter. She’s not pretending to “report” on this shit. She pays attention because the rest of us need constantly to abuse ridicule and revile our sickest, most suicidal, most homicidal, gunny states. Otherwise, nothing changes.

*********************

Man, I was wondering when we’d hear from Louisiana! Good ol’ murdering LSU.

Their dorms are alive with the sound of murder, all because LSU doesn’t give a shit who it recruits for football as long as they can play the game.

This is a very old story, one that UD has blogged about for years: LSU routinely recruits criminals. It really doesn’t care. Players come from bloody cities like Alexandria LA and bring their big guns with them.

Sometimes they bring their friends, too, like a recent recruit who turned out to be hiding two buddies – both murder suspects – in his dorm room. Big ol’ guns too? Big ol’ guns too.

It must be really wild to teach at LSU.

Yessir, Mr Police Chief. A madman takes three guns to a house where his eleven year old daughter is staying and blows away her and her grandmother and then kills himself. The dying child managed to drag herself to a neighbor’s porch, but ultimately “succumbed to her wounds.”

Quite a way to go. Shot by your father, and probably witnessing him killing your grandmother and then himself. Bleeding out on a neighbor’s porch.

He’d been on leave from his job at Cornell, and he and his ex-wife were having custody disputes.

He showed her. Killed her mother and her child.

See any red flags here? The local police chief didn’t (the police were called to the grandmother’s home by the killer just one day before the shooting – did they contact Cornell and ask why he was on leave?), so the guy took the guns from a relative and did his thing. Why three? (One source says four.) Why not take one? Cuz he wanted to be a hundred percent certain he’d kill everybody, so he needed backup weaponry.

Oh – and here’s a source that says the police had had multiple contacts with the guy but “all encounters before 2025 were medical-related interactions and were not linked in any way to domestic violence.” What’s that mean? How often do you have encounters with police when you have medical issues? Were these mental illness related?

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So let’s see. How do the child’s schoolmates deal with this insane family massacre in a healthy positive way?

Well, let’s look at how Cornell is coping. The guy was a dean. Cornell hired him as a dean. Cornell has erased his name from its website as its major coping strategy. It hasn’t said anything. It won’t tell anyone why he was put on leave.

Maybe the kids can do something similar. Pretend she didn’t exist. Don’t say anything. Don’t ask why an obviously troubled man easily got hold of three guns (why weren’t they secured so that – I don’t know – a madmen couldn’t grab a bunch and shoot his child to death, letting her bleed out in the snow on a neighbor’s porch?); don’t ask why you live in a country where manifestly insane people have no trouble getting hold of many guns.

The Humiston daughter – also eleven – was also shot to pieces by unsecured guns, and she also ended up bleeding on a neighbor’s porch, but she managed to survive. Her fifteen year old brother killed her whole family (five people), but what’s important is that she cope with this in a healthy, positive way.

He’s a deep-dyed Louisianan, with a French name (deGravelles), total LSU education, and parents who practically founded the modern Luzianne Republican party.

Yet despite spending a lifetime in the nation’s second dumbest state, Judge deGravelles has been able to learn about America’s separation of church and state, and even apply it in his daily life. Bless him.